April 30

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 30: “In simplicity there is truth.”― River Phoenix

I strive in my life today to be simple. To keep life very simple is the best and easiest formula I have found. It eliminates all the stories, all the drama, all the BS that Ego wants to keep around.

For the last few months, I have been working on another work book that I am coming to a close with. I want to share the simple conclusion that some of the work has provided for me. It is so simple and basic and lovely that I am happy to have come to the place where I wrote the sentence that is going to become one of my favorite pieces of writing I have ever done.

The book has many various spiritual principles to work with. And at the basis of all spiritual principles is the idea of truth. Of being honest with myself and the evolution of all that we do to become spiritually fulfilled in our human existence.

Trust me, I am not there yet. Not close. But closer. Today I wrote a super simple sentence that is the best description of the life I have lived to this day. It embraces all the horrors that I lived through when I was younger and the ways that I used and drank and the awful feelings I brought with me into this recovery space.

It also embraces the entirety of that life before, during and after drugs and alcohol. The idea that we are here on a mission, is one I have always embraced. I have known for over 30 years where I am with the idea of “forgiveness” and that I choose to call it “acceptance.” I do not now, nor have I ever, sought to be forgiven or to forgive. I still deeply hold the truth that forgiveness is something only the Universal Power can perform. I am not capable of that…I don’t know that human beings are ever capable of that. So I live in a state of Grace, (an unearned gift) that I believe was allowed to me on the day I came into recovery.

I open that gift every day and strive to live into the gift, with gratitude and acceptance. I hope to always do that. I am not done yet, as far as I know. I was gifted with the understanding that I am not a victim of the life I was living, nor did I victimize others, although the stories are horrific. I have always chosen to view myself as a survivor and to see the gifts of all that I have done, along with all that was done FOR me, rather than TO me.

Today I had an assignment in the workbook to create the sentence that exemplified this belief and the concept of acceptance, rather than forgiveness. It is going to be my mission statement, and perhaps, the sentence that can be written on my gravestone. I believe it is the epitome of all that has gone into these many years of life. The sentence is, very simply: “To accept every one and every thought, word and deed…ever…as the best and highest we could do at the time.” Simple and true.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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