April 22

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 22: “The armour of falsehood is subtly wrought out of darkness, and hides a man not only from others, but from his own soul.”― E.M. Forster

I like this quote for its inference. I have an active imagination. I wrote odd stories when I was younger. One of them was about lying, a children’s story book.

The lies the child told were like a dragon. Over time, caring for the stories he had made up, the child had to tend to a larger and fiercer dragon with each lie.

I think it was a good premise, but this quote brought that to mind for me today. We can get so caught up in our stories that we become a slave to them, and they begin to chip away at our lives. All because we choose to see life through the lens of a story we made up to begin with.

This is so subtle for many of us that we cannot see behind the veil we use to obscure our part in creating the story to begin with.

For me, the process of working Step 4 over these years has slowly lifted the veil. Each time I come to the story I get to see another layer of deception I used to shield myself from the part I played in the story. It is powerful as it unfolds, and the layers get removed. For me, the was not a complete surprise. Most of the truth was revealed in the first inventories. I just could not see the entire truth until some time had passed and the pain of the story was great enough for me to walk away from having to keep it going.

We all get to heal at the rate we are willing to. And sometimes, I believe the Universal Power is going to keep us safe from our own explorations until we are capable of dealing with all the truth completely.

I know that has been my experience here. One day at a time and only as I have the ability to heal more deeply have the layers been removed.

I am grateful for this process and the fact that I have never stopped being willing to see. My soul is lighter every day.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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