April 16

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 16: “To make a deliberate falsification for personal gain is the last, worst depth to which either scholar or artist can descend in work or life.” — Dorothy L. Sayers

People lie out of fear, either of not being enough or being too much, of not having enough or of having too much.

It is always for personal gain of some sort…to be accepted when we deem ourselves unacceptable, to be more or less than we truly are.

The funny part is this…very few people actually buy into our BS anyway. Why we continue to do it is a source of wonderment. We let Ego dictate our lives and then it kills us, because we don’t have anything authentic in our world.

We cannot trust others because we are so dishonest and full of crap. I love when addicts talk about their “trust” issues. What a load of BS! Of course you don’t trust others…you are lying all the time. You are really only afraid they will figure you out, so you have to distance yourself and tell everyone that you don’t trust other people. BS!

Living in lies is so uncomfortable. It requires a vigilance that is soul-deadening to maintain. I had so much of this in my early years and lived it out until I got to you guys. Now I can be real, be authentic and true to myself. What a great gift that is.

Most of all, I have to be honest with ME. That means I have to keep smashing Ego and let myself just be who I am and not who I pretend to be. Even today I find myself pretending on some levels to NOT be who I am.

I want to be truthful with Kelly. I can be that with you ONLY when I learn to be that with me. This means I have to examine every story I tell myself to see what the motivation is behind the story. 99% of the time it is Ego and to save my face. Well that won’t get it.

So I get to do this work all the time, every day, with what I do and how I do it, along with what I say and how I say it. Truth is the path I want to walk, and I need to examine even the truth sometimes because it has shifted into a new paradigm.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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