FAITH MONTH: DAY 7: “Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible.” ― Stanislaw Lem
A very true statement, to be sure. We MUST have faith to even get out of bed in the morning. It takes some faith to believe that there is a world outside our bedroom area that is looking for us in ways that make it worthwhile to get up.
That was the first act of faith I performed in this thing when I was new. I did not believe very much, and I could see the faith and courage that it took just to get out of bed when I woke up every day with the Screaming Purple Monkeys (SPM) of my Ego telling me I was doomed, so why bother. We all know THAT voice, that insistent, determined to undermine everything good and fine in our lives, voice of doom and gloom. It never stops until we learn to shut it down. We cannot fight it; we can only turn our attention to gratitude and peace and quiet.
This takes years to learn. I never thought I could get there…ever. And one day I did. But, to get to that day, I had to act in faith, believing it was not possible, but acting anyway. That is how faith works. I never believed good things would come to pass, I just pretended like I did.
It really is all about the action I take, not what I believe or think. We can try to master all kinds of positive ideas and thoughts, but until I ACT in that direction, nothing happens for me. I did not think about maybe not drinking or using drugs. I stopped them, with the Grace of something I did not believe in when it happened. I can question that all day, or just get on with recovery work that helps to eliminate the idea that it will work for me again.
See, for me, I have never wanted another drink or drug since that time. There have been many, many opportunities to take them; just no reason that is worth the exchange. I don’t have positive affirmations to perform or any of that. I go straight to the Source, to that Power I did not believe was on my side, and pretend It still is and thank it for another day without drugs and alcohol. Another day of the most beautiful life I can (NOT) imagine for myself, the most wonderful opportunities to be of service to the world around me, and all that is coming and going in my life today. Some of my favorite things and people will leave, some new ones will come. That is how it all works. I thank that Power for all of it and work to recover from the SPM. Impossible? Yes! But so wonderful anyway!