February 19

HOPE MONTH: DAY 19: “Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden.”― Cormac McCarthy

There were two times in my recovery when I did not have hope. When I was new, I projected so much that I could not remain hopeful about the future. This is common because we are not living in the Now. I did the same thing when my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancers.

Both times, I was looking at the future. Hope lives only in the Now. If I remain present to what IS, I don’t have any issues with trust. This takes some time to learn. At least it has for me.

We all have futures that are impossible to figure out today, and we are terribly guilty of projecting our past onto the future. This is how Ego keeps us in fear and trepidation about life. It is the voice that tells us we are always going to fail, always going to lose, always going to be hurt and blah, blah, blah.

While none of this is true, we can retain hope by just living in the Now. That is all we need to do. The reason 12 Step recovery is so perfect for all Ego-based thinking is that we are consistently reminded to live “One Day at a Time.” This keeps us from projecting Ego thoughts into the future.

We don’t know how to do that. The reason we need Hope when we get here is that we have actually learned to manifest ALL of our fears into our lives and they are a train wreck. And we are frozen in Ego and fear. At least that is my experience.

So, to keep a little fire burning, a little hope, is to know that NOTHING we have to live with or through today is going to undo us completely. And, if the worst case is happening, we will get through it anyway. Or not. I have a practice of remembering my worst situations in life when I get scared. And realizing that, so far, I have come out the other side 100% of the time. Oh! That is hopeful, isn’t it?

So, this lets me live with a whole lot less fear. I can get through this moment, no problem. My life is a long laundry list of terrible moments, and many years of re-living those moments because that was all the information I would use to create my future with.

Today, I have a fire, and mine is quite enormous…and I manifest wonderful things for myself, because I truly hope for miracles and believe in them far more than not! This is what recovery does for us!