February 14

HOPE MONTH: DAY 14: “Broken heart will turn into a stronger one within hope.”― Toba Beta

Most of us can reflect on Valentine’s Day on a time when we were broken-hearted and did not see light at the end of the tunnel we felt we were in.

This is not something you can give another person when they feel like this, especially the very young. For them, there is NEVER going to be another love like that, another person in their life like that, another opportunity to feel like that again.

It is the process of life that we must all learn by walking through our own feelings of despair, sadness, regret, happiness and all the other experiences of life. No one can give us that particular set of feelings or experience. We must have it first-hand.

It cannot be gained from a book or a movie or a family member. The greatest teaching we can offer another is to sit with our own joy or pain and be with it. We must allow it to be processed, without a drink or drug, with whatever tools we have at our disposal.

With those I sponsor, I work to be transparent and share where I am in each step of my personal experience and recovery. I don’t try to look good or be a spiritual guru. I just work to be open and sincere with what is happening for me.

That is the greatest gift we can give and receive. To be who we are, where we are, when we are, is the highest form of spiritual mastery. Not dwelling on the story, but allowing it to just be. By the time we finish a conversation, we often shift into a new space with it. That is what healing is all about. We allow it and it will pass much more quickly than running around trying to change it or shove it down.

Most of us judge our experiences or try to make them prettier or more attractive to others so we look good or have high drama. That is not healing. It is avoiding and evading what is going on. Let go of the story and BE…just breathe into joy, breathe into sadness, breathe into pain, breathe into happiness. It will pass and you will grow. But not if you cannot learn to be authentic with what is happening for you.

All things must pass, as Mr. Harrison wrote. Our judgment is the thing that causes the problems; born of fear and Ego. Let THAT shit go!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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