October 31

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 31: “It is time to reverse this prejudice against conscious effort and to see the powers we gain through practice and discipline as eminently inspiring and even miraculous.”― Robert Greene

We are blessed to be given a discipline that does nothing but to make us better humans, walking the earth in ways that are beneficial to ourselves and others. This is the discipline we could have learned, had we been in the market to know these things, long before drugs and alcohol became our inappropriate and dysfunctional coping skills, along with a long list of character defects.

I love learning to be the person I longed to be for so many years. I dreamed of being kind and wise and gentle and integral. I just did not know it required the things that I have done since coming into active recovery.

It takes work. None of it is hard. Although that is the story every addict likes to tell…”This is Hard!” Heavy whining on that shit, no doubt! But that is a lie, it is NOT hard, it is only unusual, different, uncomfortable (Because it is new!), and Ego-busting if it is done thoroughly and well.

Conscious effort. This is what I need to put into any discipline for it to be successful. Any discipline, no matter how effective it may be, has a beginning point where I have to do battle with Ego for success at the end of the day.

This includes going to work each day, cleaning my home, cooking a healthy meal instead of going out for fast food, taking optimal care of myself, working out, running or hiking, doing laundry…the list is endless. All of these are disciplines.

It is popular, in our extremely lazy social environment, to get others to do these things for us, so we have more time to scroll on our phones and run around, having no attachment to the things we do and multi-tasking. Then we cry because we have depression, anxiety, obesity, chronic stress-related fears and diseases; and the mother of them all…”Low self-esteem.”

No shit! Because we have NO discipline. We are phoning life in and expecting to feel good about how much useless, endless crap we can juggle without ever really doing ANYTHING satisfying to our souls. We have not really listened to anyone else in years. We have not given of ourselves to anything substantial in years. We have long lists of things we have crossed off, only to add 10 more at the end of list. None of it substantial to our sense of integrity, honor or worthiness. We may look like we are “busy,” but we are not accomplishing anything of merit or value. Just running in circles. We give to no one, except our Ego. Shallow, but never can this be called discipline.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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