September 25

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 25: “Safety is all well and good: I prefer freedom.” ― E.B. White

What most people refer to as “safety” is really isolation and imprisonment. They are ensconced within walls and structures, mostly made up in their minds, reinforced with some sort of defense mechanisms and probably money.

Sadly, there is no such thing as safety. It is an impossible dichotomy that is as fantastic as the bogey man. Does NOT exist. We are all going to be hurt, emotionally, physically and mentally. We are all going to suffer, usually by our own hands, with our demands for security and safety, which are non-existent ideas we made up.

When I was a little kid, I would build blanket forts in my room and hide in them, believing I was “safe” if I did not let anyone else in. As an adult, I have to recognize the fantasy around this. There is a world outside my fort, and it could be more damaging for the belief that I am somehow “safe” on the inside.

There is not enough money to protect me from the ravages of my addiction. I know this, because I had plenty of money, right up until the end. But not enough God or  love or humanity left. That is what hurt me the most.

There is not enough of my imaginary “safety” to keep me from illness, harm, or death. The truth is that I am, as are we all, actively dying. As I write this, I am one hour and one day closer to my death. We all are. Nothing is going to protect me there. I may take precautions against so many things in my life, buying all kinds of insurance and taking good care of my health, but illness and death will come. The more I embrace this reality of life, the happier I can be in this moment and every other. The more I embrace these realities each day, the freer I am of the illusions of my mind that tell me my forts are safe and I am “safe” inside (or outside) of them.

The fear of death is a horrible epidemic in Western culture. It destroys so many people’s peace of mind and hangs over them like a pall. The spiritual path cannot be lived in that place. We must sit with the reality of our own death and hug it close to our hearts. Most of us are afraid of life because of this fear of death. Most of the people I know with so-called “security” are sicker because of their fears and neurotic demons of fear. Until we are free, we are not going to live a happy and lovely life. We cannot.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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