FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 4: “Fear is the glue that keeps you stuck. Faith is the solvent that sets you free.” ― Shannon L. Alder
We must have Faith to move forward. It is sometimes the result of being in too much pain to sit still with where we are.
We have been stuck in SELF. That is what Fear does…keeps us in Ego/Self, where we can do nothing except stand against a tree and fight everybody and everything that comes near us. Then blame them for coming near us. Then cry about how lonely and unloved we are…hahaha!
So, Faith comes from learning, as we go through these steps that there is another way to believe, which allows us to be teachable about another way to live. Oh!
And we hear people talking about drinking and drugging in meetings like that is the golden key. It is Not!
But we remain faithful to Ego. Which does nothing but drag us into the gutter, time after time. Destroying all possibility of being in Spirit, which is the only happiness we can ever have.
We can get temporary satisfaction (not REAL happiness) from a new home, or a new car, or a new romance. These are all Ego satisfactions. They fade very quickly. If the sex is good, or a lot of money involved, the romance may last the longest. Cars lose that new smell, and homes are always going to have problems that we did not see at first.
Eventually, even the romance will begin to show cracks and strains and the good behavior wears off. It is not the true source of happiness. (Although we can all use some good sex occasionally…lol.)
We have to believe in something bigger than us. Something that has our back, something that believes in us. It has to be something bigger than family or friends or good sex or a new car or any of it. We all come to that space again and again. My experience is that even the best Power I could find in my first days here had to grow as my conception of life began to get bigger.
There is a line in the book that I believe explains the phenomena of relapse. “All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.”
The Power has to grow as my life grows. It really isn’t, for me, about only the certain trials and low spots that will do me in; I am susceptible to good stuff, too. Sometimes that new car, home or romance will take me closer to drinking than death, loss of home or job, etc.
When it comes to Step 9, this is key to understanding WHY it is crucial to my recovery. I MUST have Faith that this is going to matter. Not just work, but matter. There must be a reason to do this stuff. And, for me, Step 9 was a toughie. My Ego fights any possibility that I must humble myself to another human by showing them my humanity. Isn’t that so sad?
Yet, I know that this is where so many people have failed to enlarge their faith by taking this step all the way it needs to go. A wonderful way of life is missing for them.