August 14

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 14: “Real courage is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. Doing the unpopular thing because it’s what you believe, and the heck with everybody.” ― Justin Cronin

In today’s world, this quote could be rewritten to state that we do the right thing without posting it on social media.

Very few of us can have the courage to not trumpet our good deeds. We have to tell everyone. I remember my early sponsor (the mean one) telling me that I needed to do things AND NOT TELL ANYONE.

That is both humility and courage. Because I only want to do things when I can get credit for them. My Ego is fully engaged in looking good. And THAT is the unpopular thing. To do something and NOT say a word.

Social media is a tool of nothing but Ego. We need to feel that we are recognized, loved and supported in a world that is too busy and crowded for us to be heard and seen. We are not engaged in healthy face-to-face relationships with others, so we have to post everything to get our daily fix of attention and recognition. This is a dangerous and highly unhealthy way to live.

Personal engagement with others is a vital part of life. We must have it. We believe we can isolate ourselves from the world and be better off for not having to navigate tricky emotional and social relationships, but that, too, is the work of Ego.

We all need social interface. The primary purpose of Step 8 is for us to recognize how poorly we have navigated the world thus far and that we need to own our part in that dysfunction. So, we must clean up that part and do better.

This does NOT mean that we step away from social engagement with others, just that we practice (over and over) to become better suited to be social. We shift OUR thinking into a paradigm where we can become useful and productive members of a society we may believe we don’t need or want. That is all Ego.

So, we CAN do the right thing, when no one is looking, and not demand attention from the world at large. We can hold it to ourselves and learn to keep doing the right thing, not for attention, but because it matters.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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