July 10

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 10: “Corpse Pose sounds like no big deal, right? Then what’s so difficult about this spiritualized snooze? Forget about getting your feet behind your head. Just try lying still for ten minutes. With nothing left to do, you’re finally forced to come face to face with yourself.” ― Edward Vilga

Yoga is the teacher for me, in many, many areas of my life. It is the culmination of all physical and spiritual things I long to know.

And there are some things about yoga that are contraindicated. Corpse pose is the one that really strikes me. The one I seldom take the time to do in my home practice. And now, after getting and reading this quote a few weeks ago, I have begun to do it each day, along with whatever yoga classes I may take. It is always a part of a yoga class. I just left it out because I know I do a good meditation (or two or ten, depending on the day) each day.

It is true, though. Ending a yoga class with Savasanah (Corpse pose) is a tradition in all types of yoga classes. Why? To check in with my body and see where I have created tension or where it has been released. I live in my body, so my brilliant reasoning is that I do not need to check in. Hahaha! I love that reasoning. What am I afraid of?

Well, I can think of a couple of things. Yoga has taught me that I do not know how to inhabit my physical body well. I only see it as a vehicle that lets me down and disappoints me on many occasions. I have always wanted it to be different than it is, so I seldom take the time to do what it needs me to do to have optimal health. I don’t always warm up before I run or hike.

That is a bad thing at my age. I have also been very guilty of looking in the mirror and seeing my body as a project…looking for ways to make it look better, rather than truly caring for it.

And THIS from a woman who grows a lot of her own food, eats super healthy most of the time, has been a 50-year vegetarian, no sugar, no gluten, no processed foods, no fast foods, etc. WTF? Well, I see where there are deficits and where I need to grow more muscle, less fat, blah, blah, blah. I can inventory every bit of excess weight or where I have gotten soft and which areas of my body I find displeasing, etc.

I seldom take the time to thank my body for the abuse it has suffered and how amazing the recovery from all of that has been. I don’t often look at the miraculous nature of my body and the ways it serves me so well. This is the place where I let myself be unlovable and unloved so much of the time.
A great deal of trauma around my body has been a long part of my life. I am writing this in order to recommit to being friendlier to myself in these ways. It is a temporary vessel, but I do not honor it as the place where my spirit currently resides. I wish to become better at this. And so, I will.

I am careful with diet and exercise, but not truly CARING for my body. Today is the day I am calling myself out on this. I did not know this was what I came to the keyboard to write about today. I am always surprised by what comes when I show up here. Some days I get to learn more. Today is one of those days. I am grateful and will be patient with a new area of growth and spiritual development. They keep coming and I am grateful for the flow. Namaste!

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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