February 24

HOPE MONTH: DAY 24: “She was a beautiful dreamer. The kind of girl, who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the stars and left regret beneath the earth she walked on.” ― robert m drake

I have learned, and quite recently too, that I need to contain my enthusiasm at all times. This is an ongoing lesson for me. I get VERY excited about things and create these scenarios that I have to follow up on to create in real life.

Example: I am chairing a conference this year having to do with H+I. This is my passion in AA and recovery, working with those incarcerated in prison primarily. I love going in and bringing hope and the message of healing to these folks. The face of the prison system has changed greatly in these last two years. A lot of these long-term prisoners are being released. It is my dream to bring them ALL to the conference I am chairing. That requires footwork and coordination and a great deal of money to pay for the transportation and housing and feeding of about 12 guys I would love to see come together. Because I have a viable forum for this to happen, I am the one who is working like crazy to get travel permission for them, arrange rides and transportation, pay for the hotel rooms and food for the weekend, along with the registration and other costs of the conference. I guess you could say I am somewhat grandiose. No one else has even thought of doing this. Or of helping me to arrange it. The guys themselves are not in a position to do much of it, but none have offered to assist me in any real way. I am wondering about my grandiose ideas today.

There is plenty of work to do to chair an entire conference. My life is full enough. I always add a lot to my own plate. Lol! Today I am leaving regret beneath the earth I walk on, but not sure I can do what it is I set out to do. Maybe half of these guys are going to be there. Maybe I just leave it all in the capable hands of the Creator who gave me this creative dreamy brain to begin with and accept that there is only some of it that I am going to do. We shall see. I am willing to let it all go today.

Perhaps being a dreamer of beautiful dreams is lovely, but the day-to-day feet on the ground work is a lot. I am laying it down and taking care of my gardens today. They need some love and attention, so I will go outside and commune with my cat and the gardens. My spirit gets fed by that. My spirit needs food today. I love my amazing life, but not always my crazy ideas. I do have one lovely friend who is helping me by raising money. We shall see if it helps. I am letting go and pulling weeds. That is what is front of me today. See ya!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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