December 23

LOVE MONTH: DAY 23: “Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

If you read this whole piece, it speaks about the kind of love I have worked for all these years. That love of just me and the Universe. Not of anyone else, not romantic love. Just me and the Universe…the Power of it ALL.

I love this kind of love poem, although it used to make me feel uncomfortable that people wrote pages of adoration to some kind of God that I did not have. Now, I get that. I have that. I feel that. I love that. It is so much more than what I have felt for other people.

It is so much more than I ever hoped to feel and find and experience and express. It hits me so hard when I am writing my thank you letters in the morning to this Entity. This Power, this beautiful expression of devotion and love that has gifted me with that wonder and awe of what is, what has been, and what will be. I am enormously excited and happy to have that. And it IS such a solitary thing.

I wish to express it more deeply and beautifully, and that IS love. It is what LOVE is all about.

Gratitude, acceptance and peace with what has been, what is, and what will be. I have no changes to make, no control to exert on any of it. I may have some ideas, but they are nothing compared to what will come. I am no longer driven by that fear of any of it.

I may have moments, but most of the time, I am longing to know more deeply THIS, just this. It is good, and it is enough. Today I am in love with that.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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