November 25

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 25: “Through the lens of gratitude, we learn to see God’s grace and mercy in all circumstances.” ― Marilyn Wragg

When we do these steps and begin to look back over the life that led us to this place, we often have these dramatic stories around the events that took place.

The lens we need to see through is the change we get in recovery. “A New Pair of Glasses.” Then we can see from a new perspective and it gives us a new way of seeing life and our part in it. We get to look at a bigger picture than the microscope we hold our selves under. That is the frame of reference we get stuck in, because we are so exquisitely self-centered.

There is no drama. If we die in 5 minutes, nothing matters. That is the point. We are all here dying in each moment. One of my favorite books is “The Little Prince.” In it, the man grows up not understanding adults because they are always busy running around with “matters of great consequence.” And he grows up to become just like that. The Little Prince teaches him about Love being the ONLY matter of great consequence. A beautiful expression of how we all get caught up in ego and forget to allow love and joy into our lives.

Gratitude teaches us to pay attention to the small moments of LIFE instead of Ego. If I get too busy with the details of life and do not allow the rest to get in, I have failed to truly LIVE.

There is  always a “TO DO” list going on for most of us. We make a living, we clean our homes, we do our laundry and cook our food, we go shopping, we go to Dr. appointments and so on. I know some true heroes, those single moms and dads who do it ALL and have kids to care for in-between. They most often have to let go of many tasks just to connect with their children. We all need space to do self-care and maintain relationships in the midst of all of it. We MUST learn to leave space in there for connection with other people, as well as ourselves, for taking time to meditate and be in touch with the TRUE source of our happiness.

I love to create new environments, so I love to move. There is a particular joy I get in creating new homes, creating new gardens, with fixing up a space so it fits my way of being in the world. I love it! I do not like doing it for other people, so it is not my career. It is my thing. I do it often. But I must always balance it with what I do to feed my spirit. I still maintain my phone calls and correspondence with others, as well as my f-2-f time with them. I still connect and do all of the service work that I am responsible for. And I have learned to leave a lot of space for those things that will come up as I go about doing it. I leave space for walks and Nature and extra meditation and sponsor ship and all of it. And I seldom EVER not do my writing or my personal journaling.

The first thing most of us will do when we have life events to attend to is to quit our reading, our phone calls, our meetings, our time with sponsors and sponsees, all the things that fill our spirit. Instead, we excuse it with “Busy-ness” and have that story. Life is “busy” for everyone I know. The key to doing it successfully is to balance spirit and busy, to keep ourselves in right size by humbly asking for help, for allowing those we say we love to be a part of it.

To not use that as an excuse to not attend to those things we are responsible for in relationship. It is the cultural response so many use today to avoid unpleasant life aspects, and then we look around and wonder why we are so cut off from others. Ego has always done that, first with addiction to drinking and using, next to doing at the expense of experiencing. Balance is the thing that brings me to a place of God’s mercy and grace. I get to see how that Universal Power will connect me to moments of grace and joy and love. But first, I must pay attention to my heart, not my head.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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