October 24

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 24: “Words and actions will separate a wise man from the crowd.” ― Bamigboye Olurotimi

We get to watch each other around here. It isn’t what happens in meetings that determines my level of recovery, but how I live outside those rooms and how I walk through the world.

It takes some discipline to own my behavior and my attitudes. It takes a lot of discipline to determine what those are going to be when I am faced with adversity. How do I handle not getting what I want in life? How do I handle someone being disagreeable and mean to me?

How do I handle loss? How do I handle losing a job or a friend or money or a family member or my status in a situation?

With what kind of attitude do I meet others? Am I kind and sincere? Am I shallow and pretend to be interested in others and show them how much I don’t really care? Am I self-centered and disconnected from what others are experiencing completely?

I am not sure I will ever be considered wise, but I want to convey the idea in all that I do, that I am a spiritual student of this Universe and the Power that created it. I don’t want to say any of that, just convey it in my way of being in the world and with others.

If I am consistently integral and practice these principles, I will walk through the world with that as my footprint. If I am not, there will be a different story.

I don’t gush over people; that is not authentic. I work to be fair and let others know what the boundaries are. If they are inauthentic people, I will be civil, but not allow them to believe they can manipulate me. I am really good at maintaining boundaries and letting others know when they are welcome past a certain point and when they are not.

I will not allow others to steal my time, my money or my energy. That is a really important piece for me. I had a lot of “takers” in my life to teach me well the value of my time and energy. Money isn’t really all that important to me. But, I do see when others are being too familiar with that. If I see that I am being taken advantage of, I will stop interfacing with that person…now!

It is important to not allow others to take advantage, for their own sakes, as well. They develop no sense of earning things when I am not allowing them to work for what they want and get. I will help until I see that it has become expected. Then I will stop. This happens. We are all “takers” at some level. And it is in the nature of an addict to not give back. That is not okay for anyone.

This is a great dance we learn here. I am grateful for those who have shared with me, those who taken from me or over-taken, those who have abused this privilege and those who have not. We become wise only through this process of learning from our experiences and not having to repeat them.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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