October 2

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 2: “Embrace who you are and your divine purpose. Identify the barriers in your life, and develop discipline, courage and the strength to permanently move beyond them, and keep moving forward.” ― Germany Kent

Discipline month is a great reminder for most of us. We have developed a great many disciplines throughout our lives. Most of us are familiar with the discipline of blaming the world around us for our failings. We also develop lazy attitudes, waiting for others to do for us what we need to do for ourselves. I believe addicts are  the laziest people I know. I hate laziness…in myself and others. It is not a trait I can tolerate at all.

When we turn our will and our lives over in Step 3, a lot of addicts just expect life to become a rose bed, full of petals and soft whisperings of joy and peace. That is not how life works. That is not how recovery works. I have never met anyone who works this thing to the best of their ability. It is more like everyone does the minimum possible to pretend that they are working at all. It is incredibly sad to me. We get what we put out there. If your efforts are half-assed, the BB tells me that we get NOTHING. Half measures do not avail us half. They avail us NOTHING. And I see this every day.

This is work. And we want the magic wand. Does not happen. Ever! There is no step to pretend to take that will give us relief from the things we keep expecting and doing. I love Step 10, because it is something that is clearer than any step in the BB. It tells me exactly  what to do each and every day. I read pages 86, 87 and 88 every day and answer those questions (as I was taught) out loud. When there is something I need to clean up, I do it!

No ambiguity here. None. And discipline is what I have developed. I do things every day that were foreign to me when I got here. I keep my home clean, I make my bed. I write in my journal, I meditate, and I write a gratitude letter to the Universe for the amazing life I have. The more I confirm that my life is amazing, the more I realize IT IS! Woohoo! I don’t wait for that to happen, it already has!

I do some yoga and movement every morning, I hang upside-down on my table…haha! I feed my cat before I feed myself, I read something that fills my spirit, I make my breakfast and my tea, and I write this piece. I can only think about maybe 10 times in the last 7 years that I did not do this piece.

There is a rhythm and a flow to my life that is perfect. If I get up too late to do what I like to do, I do it later in the day. When I was in the hospital a few weeks ago, I lost a few days of this writing. I chose NOT to take my laptop with me, and I was aware of making that conscious choice. I still did my journal and my other things, just no writing. It was okay, in fact, it was perfect.

Embrace who you are. You are not here to be a gigantic influence in the world. But you are here for something. Figure that out and be the best at it that you can. Strive for more than getting by. Make your life a masterpiece of what God can do in this world when YOU do the footwork!