September 28

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 28: “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves, and, under a just God cannot retain it.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Our judgments of self and others are bars on a prison that we know are there, but do not understand the penalty we pay for them.

Allowing ourselves and others to walk freely and without our opinions on how we walk is the greatest gift we can give each other. Total unconditional and radical acceptance of each other is the goal, as I see it. Your judgments hurt you far worse than they hurt me, but I wish to be free of them nonetheless.

And they are killing you. They were killing me. We all hurt each other with the kind of “love” that continues to damn or criticize or ridicule anyone for their differing views, opinions, lifestyle, choices, preferences or any of it!

Rather than practicing discernment and judgment in our relationships with each other, let’s learn to practice absolute acceptance. Without the sneers or the frowns or the passive-aggressive remarks. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? It is what we all want…to be loved for who and what we are today. That may change, but it is the natural course of OUR lives, not your instigation.

We will all change and grow and shift and remake ourselves, sometimes 10 times in a day! But it needs to be the natural process of our learning and growing, not because we are coerced or forced into it. That only breeds contempt, fear, anger and resentment. For all of us!

If you are judging and condemning me, you are sentencing yourself as well. You are being judged just as harshly by that demon in your mind (EGO…Screaming Purple Monkeys…SPM) that is doing it to me. It is not as if you are free of the same kind of judgmental shit you hand out to others.

When you let go of my tail, your hands are free to pray for deliverance for yourself from the demanding and horrible judgment that keeps you prisoner as well.

When you free me, you free yourself. As in any kind of slavery, it is not the bars or the shackles that keep us tied down, but the belief that they are needed in the first place. What we think of ourselves and others is what is broken here. The idea that we have superior wisdom, or a greater understanding of life is the thing that is not working. We are all here, given what we are given to deal with and the cards we are dealt.

It may not look right to you, but really, it ain’t none of your damned business. So get on with what your cards are and work with what you need to do next. Leave me and everyone else alone. We don’t need your advice, opinions or feedback. If I don’t ask, do me a favor and keep it all in your mouth. Now I am free…really free!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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