September 20

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 20: “There is only one good definition of God: the freedom that allows other freedoms to exist.” ― John Fowles

This is a lovely sentiment, isn’t it? I really love the idea that God would allow us all freedom. I think that is true. The perfect explanation of free will, which I believe is the second greatest gift, after life itself. It is free will that allows us to screw up to the extent that we do on our way into recovery.

Even then, we are always free to make decisions and choose recovery (or not!) from that point on. We are free to be in our will or that of the Power that exists in all of the Universe.

What beautiful freedom THAT is! To consistently choose to be in self or service, to be in Ego or Love, to be in pain or not. To be in acceptance of life and all its processes, or to fight like hell, controlling and being in such agony when we find that we are not now, nor ever have been, big enough for THAT battle.

To be in peace and serenity of acceptance or to suffer the anxiety and depression (both SO prevalent in the world around us!) of trying to run and control the Universe with no real skills or abilities to do so.


When we accept that kind of freedom for ourselves, we can accept it for others as well. If we are not controlling our world, we certainly cannot control it for others. This is a very important distinction, because there is a lot of fear that says everyone has to be like us, no matter how loudly we scream out for OUR rights to be unique individuals. What?

If we can visualize everyone on the planet at the time of their death, perhaps after we have all been incinerated, or when we are a pile of bones, it would be really hard to know who was black or white or male or female or bisexual or heterosexual or American or Chinese or Republican or Democrat or rich or poor…you get my drift.

And when we parent and have some kind of influence over children. Yikes! The things that have been done in the name of love! Holy crap! It wasn’t too long ago that children who naturally wanted to write with their left hand would have that hand tied behind them, so they were forced to do everything with their right hand. Or had their fingers broken even. This was common practice.

I am thinking of a really lovely mother I know who dresses her little girl in such cute clothes every time I have seen her; and the little girl just gets excited and joyful, really joyful, when she sees a pile of dirt. Her face lights up so big! And she sits in the dirt and starts playing and getting very dirty. Mom doesn’t stop her, she sees her joy and lets her do what is inclined for her to do, in total acceptance that she is happy in dirt. Okay.

My story is very different. I am tremendously grateful to witness this darling little girl because I was never allowed to play in the dirt and I loved it. Still do. But I would be dressed in horrible little dresses and spanked if I got dirty. It was something I really remember from my young days. I am not the girl who stays clean. I love getting dirty.

These are the things that break our spirits. When we are not accepted for whatever unique and wonderful things we can bring into this world and are stifled or worse for what we believe and how we want to express what is in our nature. We are given these gifts from the Universal Power that gives all gifts. We cannot deny them without dying inside. So, let’s learn to accept who we are and love it, because it all comes from that God. Then let’s learn to love each other for the beauty of the spirits we all have somewhere in that pile of bones or ash we leave behind when we move on.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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