September 4

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 4: “I stand here on the summit of the mountain. I lift my head and I spread my arms. This, my body and spirit, this is the end of the quest. I wished to know the meaning of all things. I am the meaning. I wished to find a warrant for being. I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not a sacrifice on their alters.” ― Ayn Rand

I like the idea (a lot!) of being free in this manner. That I need no purpose to be defined. That I need to see no meaning to my life. That I need no justification or explanation of WHY things are with me as they are.

Just the pure freedom to believe that I AM, that is all. It is enough for the Universe and the Power that created it all (and me!), and that is enough…period.

There is such a huge human emptiness around meaning because we listen to the ego (Screaming Purple Monkeys-SPM) and believe that we are here to DO things…work, career, education, family, etc.

And we are not very good at BE-ing things…having emotions, exploring, loving, touching, holding, being still, listening.

To find our “purpose” is what people spend an entire lifetime searching hither and yon. It is written in our hearts, I believe, long before we get here. It is given to us at the moment of this creation. We know it in our spirit, in our soul, in our heart, because those are places the ego cannot go.

Ego screams, soul whispers. Ego demands (eternally and forever) to be satisfied by life. Soul and spirit live life to give back. There is no bridge to these two opposing forces.

We either spend our time in ego or we spend our time in spirit.

What is the problem there? None of us are free of ego enough to live always in spirit. We get small moments, sometimes hours, maybe days. But we will wake up again and again and listen to the screaming and clamoring for the things of man, not nature.

Step 9 addresses the times when we were so much in ego and fear that we imposed our will onto others in various ways. We stole from them, lied to them, hurt them with words or by things we did that were not of our spirit, but of ego.

The real amends we make here is to redefine ourselves in spirit and learn to stand away from ego. When we can do this, the ego will be smashed as it must be for spirit to thrive. And it is the will of the Universal Power for all of us to live into that space. The only thing in our spirit’s way is SPM…smash them if you can!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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