June 15

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 15: “If you desire to know or learn anything to your advantage, then take delight in being unknown and unregarded.

A true understanding and humble estimate of oneself is the highest and most valuable of all lessons. To take no account of oneself, but always to think well and highly of others is the highest wisdom and perfection.” ― Thomas à Kempis

I love to surround myself with amazing people. They teach the things and ways I want to be and do in this world. I am blessed, throughout my life, that this has been the case. Every day I am more in love with the wonderful people I get to know and love.

I am a firm believer in limiting my exposure to and time spent with those who do not walk the path I want to walk. I am not discounting or judging them other than to see and say that there are paths that do not resonate with me today.

That leaves great space for those who DO walk down the road I am either walking or the one I would love to walk. The love and fun we have in one-another’s company is so amazing! Life is good, all the time. I get to hang out with my heroes and be in the presence of people I truly respect and admire and enjoy.

This has not always been the case. I am a raging co-dependent; and the journey into and through the healing of these things has been much greater and more involved than the recovery from using and drinking.

Why? Because the stuff I learned about human interactions in early life was so toxic and dysfunctional. When I look at my ego defenses and how they stop me from being truly engaged with others on a level playing field, I see why drugs and alcohol were good fuel for what I believed to be true about life. It is challenging to tease out those aspects of my old ideas that were fueled by addiction and those fueled by toxic family dynamics. I am not sure it matters.

However, I do know that my social and personal interactions have been the primary focus of ALL my recovery issues, beginning with that first inventory, 5th Step and 6th Step.

Gaining humility in these areas is key for me. I truly believed I was such a big deal that my step work and subsequent amends were earth-shattering for others. Hahaha! Not so much. Truth is, they really don’t care all that much if I am getting better or not. Some do, most don’t.

Oh! That is kind of ego-shattering right there, isn’t it? Yep! The only person who has consistently, every single day for 32 years, benefitted from this work is ME! And if I truly don’t matter all that much, which is both true and not true, then it is okay that I do this; so I can feel better about how I live and love and interface with you, and you, and you! Isn’t that just amazing and wonderful?

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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