May 6

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 6: “Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.” ― Thomas S. Monson

We are so chicken shit lazy as a whole. I am saddened and shocked when I talk to other members about doing this recovery work and they act like I just asked them to cut off a foot or something! Geez! It makes me so sad…we are so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and so reluctant to do anything with it.

Having gotten that out of my system, I really, really DO wonder why doing the right thing is so difficult and challenging for so many? I read a book this morning about being mindful and how it leads to enlightenment. Being willing to do every small thing that it takes to become a master of Self and the freedom we get with spiritual unfolding.

Are you willing to stop and carry a spider from your home outdoors, rather than crush it? Most people are not. It takes extra effort to be mindful and completely compassionate. I get that. We are so damned lazy!!

So, this quote…I love the idea of needing “courage,” but I really stopped and asked myself WHY Courage? Why does living decently require courage? I am not sure that it does, and the reason I came up with is going to point the way to living with integrity.

I once sponsored a woman who consistently told me how mean she thought I was when I told her the truth. What she never understood was how viciously she treated everyone around her, while smiling sweetly and saying the “nice” things she thought they wanted to hear. Then her dishonesty would become another round of vicious passive-aggressive treatment of her children, co-workers and all others in her sphere. She was angry all the time!

I suggested that she become more honest and integral with herself. She told me I was mean and that she wanted to have more “compassion.” But her treatment of herself and others was horrible. Truly horrible. So, we don’t know how to be integral within ourselves. This is the journey.

This is what we discover in these inventories. How much we hate ourselves. While we are beating the crap out of US, we are brutalizing others around us and blaming them for the damage done to our relationships. We hate them, and they hate us and we all pretend to be “nice.” And I say “F— NICE!” It is inauthentic and phony.

The kindest thing to do in this world is tell the truth…YOUR truth, not what you think of them. YOUR truth. Get it? But we are too lazy to get to that. It takes work. So we just continue this cycle of never ending resentment and abuse. It truly sickens me.

So, lets all just be honest today. Be willing to get off your lazy butt and live decently. It doesn’t really take courage. It just means that we stop being so damned lazy and nice (perhaps they are the same thing!)

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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