May 3

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 3: “You say that you trust no one, but I don’t believe you. You trust constantly – even when you don’t realize it. At the intersection, you trust that the other drivers will stop when their traffic lights are red; you trust the architects and builders when you walk into a building, the engineers when hopping onto a roller coaster, the cook when you’re eating the meal prepared for you. To some extent you trust countless strangers on a daily basis. Just as you would have an extremely tough time surviving in this world with a full trust in all people, you would have an extremely tough time surviving in this world without any trust for any people.” ― Criss Jami

This reminds me of the refrain of probably ¾ of the folks I have met in early recovery. “I have trust issues.” And I laugh and laugh. WE are the dishonest thieves…and WE have trust issues? Really??? I love it!

I thought so too. What is absolutely true is that I had expectation issues. I expected others to do what I wanted them to do so I would be okay. I expected the world to right itself in its orbit around the Universe to accommodate my whims and desires; which, by the way, were endless and more like demands.

Isn’t it funny that I have not had any “trust issues” since I began practicing an honest way of life? Hhhmmm…yeah. It might be me projecting my dishonesty and demands for specific behaviors onto life. I don’t have to trust others, only myself.

If I am honest, it really does not matter if you are. I can live with you being a liar if you are. It is okay. I won’t have a great deal to do with you and you won’t be a big part of my life, but I don’t need to change that for you or even tell you about it. Me telling you about it is all in the vain hope that you will change to suit me anyway. That, my friends, is called manipulation.

If I am unhappy with the behavior of someone, I just stop being with that person. It is so easy to do and see. It used to be quite complex, when I was playing the puppet master of the Universe.

We have to trust EVERYONE to be exactly who and what they are, right this minute. If it is not what we need to have in our lives, then WE are the ones who must move away. That is so simple, and yet we are so used to wanting others to change to please us.

Embrace who YOU are and let others BE WHO THEY ARE. Stop manipulating and doing cartwheels to be someone you are NOT and let others do the same. Life is so simple when we just trust that the Universe and ALL of its kids are perfectly being and doing what is right for them today. I know I am…

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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