April 23

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 23: “The need to prove who you are will vanish once you know who you are.” ― Danielle Pierre

The process of recovery is going to eventually eliminate, for some of us, the need to prove ourselves, as well as all other ego-based needs. This is a wonderful process.

We may dance in and out of this stuff, but the dance stops at a certain point and we can sit and watch without joining in.

This has happened to me in some areas; and not as much in others. I can see it and love it, but I still get stuck from time to time. Then I get to clean up and walk a different road. I have stayed on a road for a while now that I know is not my road. I am less involved in it every day and disentangling myself more and more from it now. It is a good thing. I am happy with the process.

I have those things that I still bite on from time to time and miss the hook. Then, zingo! I am being reeled in and I was the fish who bit! Damn! Sometimes I let it go on for far too long. This is all about a learning curve. Sometimes I let it go on because there is a payoff that I am looking for. Not so much any longer.

I know the price of most of what I do and what I am willing to pay and what I am not. This is a healthy thing to learn when you are the kind of people pleaser and as needy of approval from specific people as I might be.

This is a large piece of work. I do know who I am today. I have become very self-aware. Does not mean I am done. Just in the lifelong (I hope it is only this life) process of recovering from some very deep and old ideas. Ideas around insecurity and needing approval are the worst ones.

We all have them. Not all of us cause ourselves the pain I seem to. I do know that the Universe brings the perfect cast of characters to assist me in this work. I also know it is not about ME that these things are, but about the development of a stronger ME in the process. Isn’t that lovely?

Getting better all the time. I could not be happier!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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