April 11

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 11: “I think honesty is the most heroic quality one can aspire to.” ― Daniel Radcliffe

Who wants to be a hero? I never did. It meant a spotlight might show me in less than wonderful terms. I had too many secrets and too many delusions to allow a spotlight to shine on my life.

But, I do love the idea of honesty as being heroic.

And I do resonate with the idea that I am a chicken when I am not able to tell the truth. Sometimes, I get people who want me to tell them a different truth than the one I have.

Hahaha! Funny, I just had a friend who came by to ask me how to help her and her cousin, who is in prison.

In the conversation, the woman who came to my home (and is 39 years sober!) kept telling me about her cousin, who killed two children in a series of bad breaks and misunderstandings. She kept asking me how she could help her cousin get out of CIW.

So, I asked her what her cousin has been doing on her own behalf since she went down, originally, to Patton. Funny, this woman was once one of my clients…I love how this world is!

What it boils down to is that incredible thing that many of us suffer from, with or without drugs, our own co-dependence and arrogance that we are here to SAVE others. Hahahaha….my friend did NOT like me telling her that her cousin has a journey that she needs to navigate. It ain’t the attorneys that no one has the money for. It ain’t the “system” that is against her.

Her cousin hasn’t done anything to make herself a viable part of the world outside. It is NOT anyone’s job, but hers. She is not doing those things that are there for her to do.

It is the same with us. We sit in meetings and moan about the circumstances of life and the situations we find ourselves in. I certainly have. But, we are given these amazing tools, 12 of them, that are perfect for us to navigate a higher road than the one we are on.

The higher road only exists in our attitudes and beliefs. Then we can put our feet on THAT path and walk a road that is similar in appearance to the one we are on now. But, the way we walk it is totally different. The truth lies in those ways that we view life, the lens we use, the perspective we stand in. I can see life as amazing and beautiful, or I can see it as sad and full of peril. It is the same life.

I remember a movie I saw a few years back. It was called “Life is Beautiful” and was set in a prisoner of war camp during WWII. The man who made the film was an Italian man with the most exuberant and beautiful smile I ever saw. His personality bubbled out of the screen at us. His joy and love were infectious. This is who I want to be, I remember thinking.

We become who we set out to be. What we believe about life is what we live. The truth is variable, according to where we sit. If you don’t like where you sit, BE A HERO and change your view!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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