March 13

FAITH MONTH: DAY 13: “Faith is a great thing, and really religious people would like us to believe that faith and knowing are the same thing, but I don’t believe that myself. Because there are too many different ideas on the subject. What we know is this: When we die, one of two things happen; either our souls and thoughts somehow survive the experience of dying or they don’t. If they do, that opens up every possibility you could think of. If they don’t, it’s just blotto. The end.” ― Stephen King

This is another new quote for me. I read through about 60-80 quotes each month to find the ones I am going to use for the next month. This one surprised me, because I had never read it before.

I really, really like it.

A big fan of Mr. King, as a person. I do not read his books, but I love his personal story on many levels. He does not pretend to have answers here. None of us really do. I certainly don’t.

I have “faith” and used to insist on having certainty or knowledge. Drove me crazy. I love to say that I was like the character of Pontius Pilate in the musical “Jesus Christ Superstar”, who sang a song with a phrase in it: “Are you the Christ? The great Jesus Christ? Prove to me that you’re no fool; walk across my swimming pool.”

I wanted PROOF of God, and that is subjective. I see proof all around me today. But I wanted God to step down on this place and tap-dance for me NOW. I wanted the FACE of God to become visible to me. I wanted God to speak to me in no uncertain terms, so I could see the mouth moving and hear the words and be SURE.

None of that happened of course. Any more than it does for anyone else. But, rather than put me off, it gave me great respect for the Universal Power who did not cave in to my childish demands. I had to be on that search, that lifelong quest for my personal Holy Grail.

And that is what we get here. No guarantees, no assurances, none of that. We get hard, cold, empirical evidence of the outcome of Step 3. That’s it.

I get to see how that works, or not, depending on the person who claims to have worked this step. And, isn’t it funny? But I can tell who has and who hasn’t on any given day. Right? It shows!

But, I see people taking cakes and chips for years (lots of years!) without a drink or drug. I see the changes in their lives, families, homes, community. So many miracles to celebrate! And I KNOW how this happens, because it is my story. And yours too, I know.

And none of us could do it without Step 3. None of us. So, I pretend that I believe, that I want to do this thing. I just pretend. And then I behave as if I believe it has worked for me. And then, one day, I realize that I, too, am taking cakes for LOTS of years without a drink or a drug. And my life is amazing, and I am in love with me and this life.

That, my friends, is proof enough for me. I quit demanding and just say THANK YOU!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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