February 17

HOPE MONTH: DAY 17: “It’s not over if you’re still here,” Chronicler said. “It’s not a tragedy if you’re still alive.” ― Patrick Rothfuss

We have survived and lived through amazing things. Not just addicts, but every person on this planet has a story about survival and coming through things they did not know they could get through.

Every heartbreak makes space for what comes next. Every “tragedy” is the doorway to another form of understanding and emotional comprehension.

We move through these things to gain knowledge, and more importantly, wisdom. Many people believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I disagree.

What doesn’t kill us should make us resilient, when we learn to expand and contract our beliefs in accordance with our experiences.

We can soften around a broken heart, or we can build yet another wall to defend our ego from it ever coming around again. My experience with this is that we let go of the story around that broken heart and begin to gain insight and understanding of ourselves and others.

When we don’t do this, we become bitter and angry, victimized by the events and people of our lives. We make humanity a disgrace and terrible thing to belong to, by virtue of our own judgments and beliefs. And we begin to hate life and everything about it.

We get to relearn our values around here. That is the reason for our being given the Grace to recover at all.

There is no recovery until we can shift our beliefs to allow for all things human. Nature is perfect, although we seldom believe this. We all want to beat “God” up for the shit that we do or the shit that we believe around it.

Nothing is more arrogant than the addict who comes into recovery and says, “Oh. That God shit is not for me.” Hahahaha…we all know why that is the story.

We judge and criticize, critique and condemn ourselves and each other and wonder why there is so much pain. We break because we cannot bend. We cannot allow space and yielding, and so it kills us. Life is going to keep throwing those punches at us until we yell “Uncle!” (Does anyone know why we don’t say “Aunt”?) Just curious, as I typed it, I was wondering…

We are given another opportunity, right here and NOW, to change the way we look at this. I have hope, eternal hope, that we will see something new that WE need to shift.

Without that shift, we are going to suffer a great deal of pain, holding on to our old ideas and beliefs that we MUST be right, or we will die. Nah, not die, just suffer. The choice is up to us. There is no tragedy, except when you say so.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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