January 14

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 14: “The meditative mind sees disagreeable or agreeable things with equanimity, patience, and good-will. Transcendent knowledge is seeing reality in utter simplicity.”

― Jean-Yves Leloup

I can tell where my level of acceptance is, based on how I respond (or react) to others. If I cannot let someone be (in my opinion) an asshole, it shows me that I am not sitting in equanimity. This is another of my favorite words.

Why? Because it brings lightness and spaciousness to my heart. My heart was held so constricted and tight for so long that the first time it cracked open a bit, I thought I was dying. Perhaps, in a sense, I was. I was dying out of one way of being in the world into a new way of being. That always begins with a pain in my chest.

Sometimes, especially in the last 2 or 3 years, I have felt this when I needed to let energy out by crying. I get a pain in my chest, because it is so automatic for me to hold this down.

And, as always, the battle is NOT with the assholes of the world, it is with ME. I find that there are so many things about Kelly that I judge and criticize that my heart has closed down and shut the door and barred the path from my mean self.

So, something comes along to break it open, and it is a physical pain that is very present when it happens. I have come out of a meditation with so much muscle pain in my chest, because I am fighting myself. We always are.

It appears that, out in the world, situations and circumstances are creating this tension. It is only a façade. The tension is created inside us when we are not allowing things to be as they are and fighting to make the world dance to our tune. What is really funny about this, is that we are the ones who suffer, not the assholes or other situations we find untenable.

And, this is utter simplicity. Utter simplicity. Utter simplicity. The only thing that keeps us in this kind of pain is our resistance (denial) or what IS. See how this works?

We begin with denial of addiction, and a surrender happens. Then we get to denial about other aspects of life, and a surrender may happen. But, we are in constant resistance to life itself. Until THAT surrender happens, we are going to be in pain. And we can blame that on whoever we want, even God, but we are the writer of this script.

Utter simplicity. When we cut through the ego, all we see is smoke and mirrors. Scared little guy in the booth, playing OZ, every time! There is so much wonderful spiritual analogy in that movie. So much! It is wonderful and horrible…and the flying monkeys really are the Screaming Purple Monkeys. Maybe THAT is my next book…maybe.

Utter simplicity. Walk in simplicity today…total and utter surrender to the idea that NOTHING is hard, it is only different, new, and uncomfortable. NOTHING is sad or painful or bad or good. It Just Is! Utter simplicity. Try it out…it calms the flying, screaming, purple monkeys!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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