GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 14: “He who does not reflect his life back to God in gratitude does not know himself.” ― Albert Schweitzer
I sat with this quote a few years ago. I did not see how I could know myself. I am a constantly striving person, always working to make myself stronger and better.
This can sometimes be abusive. What does happen, in gratitude practice, is I see that I am not the one doing the work, nor am I someone who needs to be fixed or repaired in all areas.
I can accept that, through a great deal of grace, I have been given many years of recovery, a deep and satisfying recovery. I can accept that, through grace, I have skills and talents and things I love about myself that can serve. I can also accept that I have some rough edges, which I happen to love, that some others may see as harsh or too rough.
I am good with that. I see both the assets and the liabilities. Mostly, I see the vast area in-between where I walk in balance most of the time, off the rail occasionally, and teetering quite a bit. I get to see that there is a reason for all of it.
Then I thank that Creative Power that gives me these graces and I begin to accept all of me. Then I begin to love all of me. This is great stuff!
So, I know a lot about me, and there is more to be revealed; I am certain. This process is something I thought I had conquered in my first year. Imagine the surprise and shock when I hadn’t. I remember being about 92 days into this thing and having some very unkind and mean thoughts about someone in a meeting! I asked my friend how this could happen with over 90 days! He just laughed and told me I was always going to THINK crazy stuff, I just didn’t have to act on it.
What a gift! So, today, I have done my work. I have performed prayer and meditation in my habitual way. I have practiced some yoga and made a nice breakfast and eaten it. I am cleaning up what needs to be cleaned up for the morning. My plans will flow unless there is another way for life to unfold than what I have in mind. Okay.
When I write that gratitude list each day, I include a sentence thanking that Creative Power for showing me their Will and the Power to carry it out. I don’t ask, I always thank.
And, so far, I know when what I am doing is off the mark. I get rechanneled into another direction and a new door or window opens. It is always like that. And I love it, over and over and over again. This is amazing stuff!