GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 6: “Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.” ― Roy T. Bennett
What if this is it? What if this is all there ever will be? What happens then? Are we to live with that gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction and insecurity that follows us everywhere?
Most of us have had that sense of emptiness and longing for many, many years. We know it like a best friend or companion.
It is the sense that we are not enough, have never been enough, and will never be enough. That drives the bus of greed and gluttony over the cliff. We are running around, trying so hard to get more of whatever we believe it is that will make us adequate.
Our sense of inadequacy and insecurity is gigantic! There is no way to make peace with who we are at this moment, because we know it is not enough. Drugs and alcohol helped us forget, for a moment, who we were and how insecure and inadequate we knew ourselves to be. But, did they, really?
Probably not. We became more and more grandiose and obnoxious to cover up how insecure and inadequate we were.
Ugh! That cycle goes on for some of us many years into this recovery thing. We are always trying to be bigger than we know we are, more important, more skilled, prettier, etc.
We run around, trying to compensate with food, clothes, sex, more sex, money, work, gambling, all kinds of new addictions.
Wow! That is scary! And yes, it is scary. So many people will relapse around thinking that there is a hole to be filled. There isn’t.
The only thing missing from our lives is that spiritual connection we don’t know how to get. It all begins with prayer and meditation. I am adamant about the only prayer we need ever to say is “THANK YOU.”
And gratitude will always fill that hole.
The minute I shift from what I need to what I have, I have found my solution. That is the only tool that has consistently and permanently told me that I am enough, I have enough, I do enough, and that I will always be enough. How do I know?
I keep receiving this gift of grace. I keep thanking that Power for my life and my recovery, and I keep getting more of THAT. It is all I need or want today. The rest is absolutely a gift, a ton of gifts, so many gifts I cannot possibly list them all…it would take the rest of this life. So, I do it one day at a time and just know there is not enough time for me to share all that I have and all that is with me right now. What a great deal THAT is!