October 2

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 2: “Because you actually might not know what activities truly engage your attention and satisfy you, he says, it can be helpful to keep a diary of what you do all day and how you feel while doing it. Then, try to do more of what’s rewarding, even if it takes an effort, and less of what isn’t. Where optimal experience is concerned, he says, “‘I just don’t have the time’ often means ‘I just don’t have the self-discipline.” ― Winifred Gallagher

I remember being 4 or 5 years into this thing and telling someone that I didn’t have time to take vitamins. I find that incredibly funny, because it was true for me at that time. I was a workaholic and spent 60 hours or more at my job each week.

I made good money and was bordering on burnout all the time. Crazy! So, of course, like so many other addicts I know, I made no time for the things that were best for me.

I did a lot of meetings at that time, so it wasn’t that. God forbid I should not look good to you guys! But I was not taking care of myself physically, spiritually or emotionally. It was not in my wheelhouse.

That has shifted over the years. I work very little and take excellent care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Interesting how that dynamic shifts. I love when sponsees start telling me how “busy” they are. It is so untrue! Most of the time, we are spending a great deal of time in our heads, thinking about how busy we are.

We always need to remember that we are dealing with that ego, which is designed to turn our lives into pure shit, while telling us that it is “busy” taking care of us. Lies! Always Lies! Damn monkeys! (Mine are purple screaming monkeys…not sure about yours!)

So, I need to remember what is going on when I start saying “busy” about anything. What most of the world hears when we use that phrase is either “I am arrogant as hell” OR “I am NOT going to do what you are asking me to do.”

Being busy falls under the category of being very passive-aggressive. When something is important to us, we make time for it. If I tell you that you can go shopping with free money every time you work a step or that you will have sex with the person of your deepest desire…you would find the time, I bet.

When we love something, we can make the time. It is funny how that always happens. Watch yourself to see how you spend your time. I bet you prioritize those things that you value most.

Perhaps it is time to look at that and see what works best for you and what is all about looking good.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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