November 11

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 11: “Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.” ― Marcus Aurelius

What happens when a friend moves away or dies? What happens when we get sick or disabled? What happens when we lose something we forgot we even had? Or something breaks in our home, on our car, or on our body?

We get upset and angry that there is a change in our lives that we must address somehow. We are so insanely attached to the status quo that we react in fear. How can we do that? Life is change, ONLY change. If life were to stop, we would all die quickly and probably painfully.

Yet, we take no time to appreciate those people who are here right now…to spend a moment thanking them when they do or say something that touches us in some way or we happen to think about them and wonder how they are. If we spent an hour a day doing that and reconnecting with friends and loved ones we have not seen or talked to in a while, it would change the shape of our relationships.

I am NOT talking about fb or instant messaging. I am talking about a face-to-face conversation, or at least a phone call with those who are far from us.

So many people lose a loved one and get so upset because they didn’t tell them they were loved or they left things unsettled between them. If someone matters, make THAT a priority each day. We do not have so many beloved friends and family that we cannot take a part of our day to touch at least a few of them. It will matter one day. It always does, after it is too late.

Health is the same thing. How many of us take the time to honor our bodies with good food (healthy food, not hotdogs and sundaes!) and exercise? I mean, the kinds of exercise that allow you to move your body comfortably after the age of 30. Yet, when health fails, it is not unusual for you to decry the lack of energy, the sickness, the shortness of breath. Again, it was not taken care of when you had it. Of course, it will leave if neglected.

How often do you think to thank your car for each mile you drive without having a flat tire or a dead battery or a breakdown? Probably never. And, there we go again when it does one of those things that are part and parcel of being a car. Bless it when it runs well and care for it so it can continue. Things happen to mechanical objects that require parts and service and repairs. If taken care of, those surprising breakdowns will be minimal. They will still happen, but check the balance with how many times you DIDN’T have a breakdown.

Gratitude is focusing on both the things that displease us and recognizing how often the day goes by and we take SO MUCH for granted! When it is gone, broken or in disrepair, we mourn it like a loss. We NEVER recognize how much we HAD! Too bad!

If you take it for granted that your marriage is strong and it becomes weak, you have not cared for it like it needs to be with you for a long time. The same is true of all relationships. The nature of relationship is an ebb and flow. If you are completely present to it, it may still end; but you will know that you were there and it stopped being what you once treasured. If that is a pattern for you, look at it and see where the trouble lies.

Health must be treasured to be maintained. Saying you are grateful for your health and NOT doing what needs to be done to preserve it is a lie. No one is perfect, but chances are you are blowing smoke to say you are grateful.

When people in recovery tell me they are grateful for their recovery, I say “show me.” That means we are doing what needs to be done, every day, NO MATTER WHAT. Going to meetings is a very small part of that. Working with others is another small part. Personal inventory, daily, is a bigger part. Prayer and meditation, daily, is a bigger part.

For me, the gratitude that I write about daily must have its tennis shoes on. If I am grateful for my health, I must go hiking, eat right, workout, and do my yoga. If I say I am grateful for my recovery, I must be doing those things that maintain a healthy and viable recovery for me. If I say I am grateful for people in my life that I love, I am in touch with them in a way that fosters communication for both parties. I must take care of my home, my car, those things I rely on to be in good working order for my enjoyment. When they break, I must fix or replace them.

Such is life. And, for me, it is the best one I could ever have imagined. Today is the best day, so far! I am happy and grateful to be here one more day! Woohoo!