July 7

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 7: “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” ― Barbara Johnson

This quote makes me laugh. I am a speedy kind of person, in how I move my body and how I drive a car. I really have to focus on developing the art of mindfulness and slowing down to be present for life in new ways. One of the things that has created a new way of being for me is learning to collect sea glass. There is no way to find it unless your focus is soft and you have the patience to walk slowly enough to gather it from the sand. Seeing it in the rocks is challenging, because eye focus is the key. And slowing down to walk for hours over a small area of the beach is hard for a lot of people. They are racing around, trying to find it before anyone else. I am really good at finding it, which is kind of surprising, except that I have a really good visual acuity, even though I need glasses for most activities at this time in my life. I don’t wear them on the beach, because it hampers me. I have learned to idle my engine a lot more than I used to be able to. One of the things about aging is that I have to pace myself more often than I ever did before. This is good for me, because I am more patient. As we gain in wisdom, we learn that life is not a race to a finish line that we superimpose across some imaginary goal. Life is a process of learning, rewinding, starting over (a lot!), and gaining in the lessons that are learned during the time we go through the process(es). Every day it is easier to be a patient person. I have found that there is nothing that is gained by being the fastest person to get to the party or the job or the house or anywhere. I have nowhere to race to, and nothing to gain by going faster than others. Ego loves the race, and I can get caught there as much as anyone, but I really love the scenery more. In applying patience to Step 7, it is a quality of life that I am looking toward. I want to be that peaceful person who is able to sit without fear in the midst of the tornadoes of life, trusting that I am okay, no matter how hard the winds blow. I am there on most days, but occasionally get caught in the trap of self-centered fear. In the 12×12, there is a section that talks about my self-centered fear being the root cause of all of my character defects. I so get this! And I believe that being quiet and patient in the midst of turmoil is the goal…it certainly is why I did a lot of the things I did to qualify for my seat with you all. So I can see how idling my motor is a benefit that I am looking for on this spiritual journey. I can laugh at those who race from stoplight to stoplight on the roads, knowing that there is nothing to gain, except those few seconds of ego gratification when it seems like we are “winning” at something if we get to the next stoplight first. Culturally, we hear things like “the early bird gets the worm”, and many other phrases that tell us to hurry up, hurry up…like we are missing out on some part of life that is vital if we don’t beat everyone else to the table. Life is not that limited. My experience around here has taught me that my recovery, my good, my resources are all there, for me, no matter how I race around and try to make things happen. In fact, the only guarantee that I am going to fail is when I fail to recognize the true source of all that is good in my life is NOT ME! Oh! So today I will calm down, slow down, and recognize that it is all exactly the way it is supposed to be, right here, right now, no matter what! Breathing peacefully and quietly the lovely breath that is such a gift…yay!