HOPE MONTH: DAY 7: “We carry within us the wonders we seek without us.” ― Thomas Browne
No matter how many times we are given the fact that this is all an “inside job,” we will continue to believe that happiness is coming to us through work, through our bank account, through our romantic involvements and/or partnerships, through our children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren.
We continue to run about the planet, wanting joy in other locales, feeding ego with grand vacations and cruises. Constant, ongoing distraction. Constant, ongoing running hither and yon, believing that “it” is right around the next corner, or the next, or the next.
After this promotion, after this child leaves home or is born, after this man or woman comes along, after this education, after this, after this, after this. And so we go, running in the hamster wheel, chasing what we think “it” is this time.
Being restored to sanity, for me, is that I can sit with what IS right here, right now, and be totally free of all of that monkey mind madness and be so content and happy. Yay! I love that when I get still and quiet, my answers come. They are not in a book, they are not in my sponsor’s mouth, they are not on TV, or in a meeting, they are not on my cell phone, they are not anywhere! (That last bit reminded me of Green Eggs and Ham…Hahahaha).
I love that I am a complete package. All I need or ever will need, is contained inside me. All my answers are available for free. I don’t need anointing, I don’t need to be blessed or baptized or any of those things. I don’t have to be formally involved in meditating with a group, in a place, at that time, or anything like that. I just need to sit still and get quiet and go into Kelly and find what I have been running around all these years to find.
I love this! I have gone on a zillion retreats, sat in a lot of meditation halls (and still do, but they are only one way to access my heart), and been blessed, dunked, saved, prayed over, and donated, tithed and sacrificed, communioned, all of it! And all I got was loaded, every time.
Even here, I thought gurus had answers I didn’t. And all they told me, on every occasion is to trust God, clean house and work with others. Okay.
For me, the miracles occur more when I trust God and clean house. If I am to be of any use to others, I need to be sure I have something useful to provide. It is no good if I am a train wreck and attempting to carry the message. Of what? Total lack of recovery? Yeah, that ain’t it. As the BB says we “cannot transmit something we haven’t got.”
So, I must find my inner voice and give it all the time and attention I can. It will serve me well. Way better than money or work or sex or even good chocolate. Way better than a new car or a date or even (sadly!) a new pair of shoes. This is wonderful stuff and it is all there, just sit quietly and find the heart you have broken the most, your own.
Sanity lives in that place, not the head we keep going to again and again. I love this stuff!
Dolphin Hug 