FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 28: “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.” ― Sigmund Freud
The truth here is that we DON’T want responsibility. We are a group of people who are irresponsible in so many ways!
Doing a thorough job with Step 9 means that I have to begin to take responsibility for my behavior, my attitudes, my life. Not a great prospect for us addicts! We want the Universe to take care of us in every imaginable way!
Even into recovery, our tendency is to think that our Higher Power is some kind of Santa Claus who grants our wishes, according to how “good” we are. This is a pervasive idea that takes many years for some of us to let go of.
Freedom means that my amends are a living, breathing, part of my life. When I amend a relationship with someone, saying that I will become honest with them in all that I do; it means I will be honest…PERIOD! Not just with them, but I am amending my behavior to become an honest person.
When I say I am going to stop criticizing and nagging and focusing on your shortcomings, it means I have to do this with everyone!
Why? Because my amends is to change my behavior! Not just with one person, but in my life, across the board! We seem to think that we have special dispensation to behave badly until someone calls us out on it.
No! The purpose of Step 9 is to amend MYSELF to accommodate the other people on this planet with me. Not continue to do what I have been doing and see if I can get away with it in some instances. I do not understand why we believe we only have to “behave well” with those to whom we made these drastic promises, agreements or whatever they are at the moment we feel cornered into doing them.
Step 9 is a blanket that we wrap around others who have been hit over the head with our bad behaviors and attitudes. We wrap them in it, but it also covers us.
So, we have to change. No one else is required to change. We do! And then we get to walk in the sunlight of the spirit and are totally free from the shit that was killing us. It ain’t the drugs and the alcohol! It is our crappy intentions and our crappy attitudes of self-service and selfishness.
And THAT is what we are here to amend. In every situation, we are here to behave like we want to be treated. And do it in ways that proclaim the beauty and the wonder of this amazing process. We are here to be poster children for a better way of life. That IS our purpose. There ain’t nothing higher or grander than that.
We are here to show off the grace we get when we apply these principles in all of our affairs. And it is an amazing and wonderful life!
Dolphin Hug 