FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 25: “Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.” ― Kahlil Gibran
When I can let go of what I have done wrong in the world, I am free. When I can clean up those messes, I am able to let them go.
Stuffing down my wrongs is not the same as cleaning them up. Defensively looking at what others have done to me is not the same as cleaning them up.
Righting wrongs is not a matter of apologizing for them. Righting wrongs; amending them; means that I clean up the mess thoroughly and to the satisfaction of the person who was wronged. Some of us have to go to jail if that is our path.
I was willing to do that, because I had a huge amount of wrong-doing hanging over my head; and it prevented me from living freely outside of prison. In cleaning up that mess, I was allowed to remain out of prison, but paid for many years on fines and penalties I had incurred.
Then there was a huge debt to the IRS. I was honest with them and claimed what was rightfully my part to pay. I don’t like how the Federal government spends some of that money, but it is not my business. My business is to practice rigorous honesty.
I know, in my heart, when I am being honest and when I am trying to work a scam. I have done both and I have seen the outcomes of both.
I want to be able to forget my wrongs to others. The only way I can do that is to develop a clean slate. It gives me a sort of spiritual Alzheimer’s, because I am no longer carrying that burden around with me. That sense of shame and regret that hovers in my heart when I know I have done something that is wrong and I need to clean it up.
I believe we always know. Sometimes our immediate response to attempt to rectify things that we don’t know how to rectify makes a mess. We make promises and say things that make it much worse down the line.
This is a great time to pause and reflect, as the BB tells us. We need to learn to do this so we can do it well and not make the mess worse. This gives the other person a sense of our truly walking our talk. When we don’t clean up the mess well, or just apologize, all we show them is the same lack of integrity we had before we began this deal.
We are supposed to be walking examples of recovery, not billboards for insanity and empty promises. That is who we were, not who we are working to be.
If we wish to develop the kind of freedom that cleaning up our messes truly brings, we have to do things in ways we have never done them before. That is where the pause and reflection help. So do the experiences of others who have successfully cleaned up their messes.
Freedom allows me to have that kind of spiritual Alzheimer’s. It has been many years since I had to look over my shoulder or fear or worry about my behavior with anyone. This is a great thing!
Dolphin Hug 