FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 14: “The secret of happiness is freedom; the secret of freedom is courage.” ― Carrie Jones
Why do we need courage to enjoy freedom? Because it takes a great deal of courage to be happy in any way. There is a Universal “thing” around happiness. We are suspicious of it in others. We want what they have, but don’t want to do what they had to do to get there.
We have this materialistic sense of life, imbedded by our cultural influences and upbringing. And it takes great courage to walk away from that indoctrination and training.
To be happy with little or nothing is a phenomenon most people don’t trust. We must be free of the guilt and shame of active addiction; and it tends to linger for years afterwards. This is all functioning of the ego, of course.
We must see ourselves as central to all of life for others; an interesting notion, considering that we are those creatures who sought invisibility but demanded ALL the attention of everyone we knew. Interesting contrast. We are complex and the ego has an interesting way of running the show. This conflict keeps us from enjoying life or any type of freedom.
So, courage comes along, and we get the “courage to change the things I can…” The change made here is in Step 9, and when we clean up our attitude and behaviors, we can clean up the things we did to others and stop them from recurring.
Of course, if we do not stop them from recurring, if the shift is JUST about apologizing for being an ass-hat to others, or for getting caught, then there is no change. And no change means we have not availed ourselves of the fundamental shift that Step 9 will provide when we work it in its entirety.
Sometimes, this is a process. In fact, most times it is a process. As the process works us and we work it, freedom comes into the picture. And freedom brings happiness. I am free of the yoke of you around my neck. And that makes me happy. I can let you go and you get to move on with your life. Yay! And I get to move on with mine. This is the happiness I did not know I could ever find!
As long as we are connected by old ideas and old shame and guilt and ego, I am tied to you; like an anchor in a deep body of water. I cannot be free from you and the sick dance we do, whether it is co-dependence (it almost always IS!) or it is enmeshment or just that twisted dance of wounded people that come together when addiction is going on and ego is driving the bus.
I am so grateful for the freedom to be me and let you be you. This is, for me, the crux of my addiction. The broken relationships and the twisted dance of the wounded souls. Thank God it is over and healing and I am free!
Dolphin Hug 