FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 3: “If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. How many lives have been ruined by this need to “explain,” which usually implies that the explanation be “understood,” i.e. approved. Let your deeds be judged, and from your deeds, your real intentions, but know that a free person owes an explanation only to himself—to his reason and his conscience—and to the few who may have a justified claim for explanation.” ― Erich Fromm
This is a really long quote. I don’t use a lot of long ones, because it is overwhelming for what I want to write about.
However, this quote is very important, I believe. It talks about me being judged. I really want to always know that there is no one who can do this. I have the freedom today, and it is the greatest one of all! It is the freedom FROM judgment…yours or mine.
And that freedom gives me absolute freedom to live and be and glory in all that I do and am and have and receive and give. Every moment can be a total joy when I am reminded to remain FREE!
Once I have performed this Step 9 work, I am left without obligation or commitment to anyone from my past. I get total freedom to decide if I want to make new commitments or take on obligations any time I want.
And I can end them whenever I want. I don’t care if I have long-term relationships with people and keep up with them, if they do not feed my spirit. I am okay with walking away at any point that feels like we are at a crossroads and it is time to move into another direction.
Those things are the stuff of life for many. I see them as burdens I carried when I did not want to carry them. They were family who were toxic and to whom I owed nothing further, and I was willing to walk away and accept that they are who they are; but I have nothing further to exchange with them.
There are “friends” who have grave judgments about me or have become toxic in their expectations and lack of acceptance that I do have the ability to choose for myself those things that do or do not feed my spirit. I will greet them politely when I see them, but they are no longer part of my daily circle and I make no effort to spend time with them.
This leaves a great big open space for new things to come into my life. New friends, new relationships, new opportunities for SO MANY things! I am so happy that I have learned to move past those who judge and let them do it without my presence. As Dr. Fromm says….”so what?”
I have found that those two words can change my stories about life and about so many things. “So what?” woohoo!
Dolphin Hug 