FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 2: “I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
I am a sometimes-outrageous person. I really love to just say what I want to say and not play the BS game of social nice-nice.
I am bored out of my wits with social chitchat. OMG! It grows more tiresome every day for me. As a result, I am not one to go to lots of meetings, parties, or other social occasions.
When I go to a convention or conference, I am deadened by the amount of weather we discuss, and the blah-blah of making nice with people I KNOW I will not see again till next year. Who cares? I cannot be bothered.
As a result, many of my friends do not see me unless we both make some effort to do so. I enjoy making the effort. I enjoy my friends, because we talk about things that are significant and authentic. I will seldom be politically correct with my real friends.
They are more interesting than most, at least to me. I have crazy conversations about things that sometimes shock those who do not get me or them.
I am okay with that. I want to be able to do what I want when I want. Recovery and the things I have let go of on this journey have given me total freedom of choice.
I used to be a victim of needs. I needed big houses and new cars, so I worked way too much of my life away and saw how quickly and easily it could be gone. And so, it is. We learn these things over the course of time if we are present to the lessons of this Universal Power.
I have lost the ability to pretend with anyone or anything. I will be as pleasant as possible to people I encounter, but if you are not one of my people, I will not include you in my private life; nor will I give you time that I hold precious and dear.
There is a certain amount of time I will give to those in my “posse” and I enjoy it, because the exchange of energy is spiritual fuel for both or all of us.
I am seldom going to do that with those whose spirit feels mean or small and confining. That happens a lot. I want to spend my most precious commodity well. It is far more precious than gold or dollars or anything I ever encountered. Full time and attention is my greatest gift to those I love. And I want it to be a fair exchange.
When it is not, I am going to walk away. I have done my share of taking from others, and I don’t do that any longer. This is the freedom of Step 9. I will not do, nor will I allow it to be done in my life. As the old saying goes, “Do it once, shame on you. Do it twice and shame is on me.” What a wonderful thing this recovery is!
Dolphin Hug 