FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 1: “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
Working Step 9 brings us freedom from the ruminating thoughts about what we have done to harm others. Our guilt, our shame, our responsibility to make things right and not doing it will keep us from ever finding peace or happiness.
It will, in fact, lead us to old behaviors and ways of thinking into eventual relapse. We may not drink or use, I have seen these folks still going to meetings. But we will be so miserable and unhappy, it would be a gift to everyone if we did.
Truly embracing this kind of freedom means that I must walk away from everything and everybody, clean. I must not have left you with the feeling that I did, said, or took something from you that was not to your liking.
If I know that I did something harmful to another person or in the world at large, I have to clean it up. It is going to create so much damage in MY life that I cannot live with the knowledge that I have harmed you or you or them.
And it has NOTHING to do with saying “I’m sorry.” It has everything to do with cleaning up the mess. I don’t apologize, because that is old behavior. There is no magic word or sentence or combination thereof that I can use to clean up my messes.
I must make amends; which means that I change or alter something for the better. That is always going to be my attitude and behavior. If I took something from you, I must acknowledge the wrong first of all, and then remedy the relationship with you by putting it back, sometimes all at once, sometimes over many years of new behavior.
And I need to let you have some say in how that happens. I need to accept your feelings about the situation and do what is right. Some people will let me off the hook. Then I must go to another person and “pay it forward” as best I can.
If it is a financial situation, I give money away in other areas. If it is a service obligation, I do the same thing. What I do is give myself away, in every possible area, for the rest of my life. This is how I stop being such a taker and a user.
This also gives me complete freedom, for when I stop taking and start giving, I am not clinging to anything either. That means it is all in accordance with Divine Spirit, flowing as it should, back into the Universe, instead of hiding under my mattress, all miserly and selfish like.
And how do I know this is working? I am happy, joyous and free! The first thing I remember reading in that book and hearing in meetings. And I am…it is awesome…and I love it!
Dolphin Hug 