COURAGE MONTH: DAY 30: “It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien
I have watched sick children whose courage was so inspiring to me and everyone who met them. It is quite disarming to meet those who are frail or weak and witness their struggles and courage in facing things that would make us all cry.
I believe they are emissaries from a loving Power to teach us well. We can be witness to courageous acts all the time around here. Life allows for it on many levels.
I want to always be mindful of those whose courage is inspiration for me; to honor and cherish those lessons.
One of these people was my husband. I am always going to be in awe of his courageous spirit and his ability to withstand tremendous physical pain without complaint, without even remarking on it. There were times in his dying process that I understood how great his suffering was. He never spoke of it. I realized; and still do, that he had suffered serious physical pain for all of the years after he was injured so badly in Vietnam.
So, literally, he suffered for nearly all his life. And that does not take into account his emotional anguish and sense of loss. I will never understand, but I certainly can applaud his ability to live well in spite of these things. Most of the men he knew did not. Those who were at one time in recovery have long since returned to active addiction.
He was their standard-bearer for all those years. It saddens me that they clung to that and could not do this without him. So their story goes. I see it quite differently. But I understand it all.
This kind of courage is incredible to behold and witness throughout the passing of time. I will always be informed and inspired by it.
Remaining drug free during this entire process was such a challenge. It lasted until his final days, when he was able to submit to medicating the pain of dying. Prior to that, recovery demanded from him that he take nothing for his many illnesses and disabilities.
I don’t know how that was possible, but I got to see it. It teaches me about all of that. I am challenged to be equally courageous in this process of living and (hopefully!) dying well.
And, today, the living is the part that we all get to be challenged to do well. I truly want to be courageous about life, embracing it in all its forms and faces. I am not always good at this, but I continue to grow in that direction.
When I relate this all back to Step 8, I get to see how far I have come in willingness and cleaning up those relationships that are problematic right at the places where they become broken. I truly want to always do this.
Dolphin Hug 