COURAGE MONTH: DAY 28: “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” ― Jane Austen
From the time I was 2-3 years old, I knew my “authority figures” (i.e. parents) did not always have my best interests at heart.
Unknown to me at that time, there was a great deal more to the story. But, what I do know is that I began then to rebel against their authority and rigid rules for my behavior. They called me stubborn, and I always knew that was my defect of character which they despised the most. I was, and still am.
In this deal, I have learned that my “determination” or “tenacity” are great assets when they assist me in being courageously intent on reaching a goal or working through a problem. I am not likely to give up.
I have always been pretty fiercely independent. This, too, can cause me trouble when I am unlikely to ask for help. When I don’t ask, I often don’t receive. I am getting better at this, all of it.
But I do fight any form of authority or control. The truth is, that it often does not accomplish much except to make me disliked by others when the goal is to “get along.”
Progress in this area, I can report. But not as much as I would like there to be. This is where I have had most of my trouble in relationships with the world around me, not to mention in relationships of a personal nature.
So, if there is a motto I have adopted that has really benefitted me in this stubbornness arena, it is that “I’d rather be happy than right.” I have had to use this mantra many times in my life, in order to overcome my tendency to believe that others are clueless idiots, even when I truly believe they are.
What does that mean? Usually that we view things differently. There is nothing wrong with that. But, I am inclined to be very sure that anyone who does not agree with my fine mind and perfect assessments of things (!) is a clueless idiot. Do you see the problem here?
So, I let go of my need to be right in all things and accept that even if I am, we can have differing views of most things, given our experience and views on life. It is okay to disagree; we can both be right and not see things the same way.
An especially important view in working with others and allowing others their own journey. We must allow them to believe what they do in order to not have to convince everyone that our way is the only way. That we know all we need to know in order to live our lives.
I have learned some incredibly interesting and important information in the last couple of days. Wow! I am so glad I was open, just a little, to not having all the answers. If I think about how much I have learned in the last month, I am overwhelmed with how much I did not know! And so it goes.
We are all here to learn and teach each other. As Ram Dass says, “We are all here to walk each other home.” I love that! I need you and you need me. When I let go of what I know, I can learn. When I let go of my fatal independence, I am with you; and we are walking each other home.
Dolphin Hug 