COURAGE MONTH: DAY 23: “It’s your life; you don’t need someone’s permission to live the life you want. Be brave to live from your heart.” ― Roy T. Bennett
When we are working to please others, we are miserable. We are being untrue to our own inner compass and living the wrong lives.
Parents, partners, children, families, employers, and others may all have an agenda that they see us serving. That does not mean they have any idea what our journey is about or what our choices should be.
I am often saddened by how many people want me to tell them what to do or where to go or how to do something in their lives, either because I am their counselor or therapist; or because I am their sponsor or friend.
I have no idea about how to navigate others’ lives. I am quite uncertain about my own when I am not in touch with my center, my heart. Since my heart carries no information about your journey, how can I possibly tell you?
I may have an opinion, but it really does not mean anything. If you ask me about the color of a dress or a shirt, I can share it. But my personal preferences may be tainted by self-interest. I am not completely free of my own agendas, of course.
I can still exercise selfishness and be self-serving in my responses. So, I must shake off the demands of others to live the life that is free and clean for me. It changes quite often, as is the nature of life; but I am good with that. I just know that it is not so easy for everyone.
Being as independent as I am, it has become easier for me to know that I will do what is right for me until I feel that there is room for change. That is often disconcerting for others. I cannot help but feel sad by their resistance to what is right for me.
Step 8 is all about healing and moving on. If I do not become willing to clean up my life and rectify and restore the balance in relationships that have become broken or toxic, I will never be able to heal and move on.
That is the way that we stay toxic; by not doing those things that recovery demands. What is the great fear in living from your own heart? Being misunderstood? Being lonely? Being unacceptable to someone? Being rejected? Walking away from something we think we MUST have to be happy? I have felt all of these fears, so has everyone who has ever considered the 8th Step.
And so it is, that courage is required. I can only say that, in my experience, this is where we learn to risk facing those fears and taking action anyway. To NOT take the action, in my book, means I am going to have all of those fears (and many more!) back in my life the minute I let FEAR (EGO) lead the way. If I live into my fears, I lose. If I live in spite of those fears, I win, over and over and over. I LOVE THIS!
Dolphin Hug 