COURAGE MONTH: DAY 20: “Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.” — Ruth Gordon
Every time I doubt my ability to do what is in front of me, I have a vast body of work for reference behind me. Since coming around here, I have done (literally!) thousands of things I never dreamed possible.
Some of them were relationship challenges. I showed up and did what I said I would, even when I did not want to. And benefitted greatly for having done so.
I completed long-term commitments to myself and others and benefitted greatly for having done so. I have been able to stay in recovery for a long time and benefitted greatly for having done so.
I do not remember EVER thinking that I wanted courage for the sake of being courageous. Most of the time, I want to show off for you and you and you and you. And I am the recipient of the benefits, every single time.
Oh, trust me, I can brag like any of the best. But I am the one who gets the recovery. I am the one who has big self-worth and self-esteem issues that remain, surprisingly (to me!) in remission. I am the one who gets to feel wonderful for having done things that required courage when I had none.
What I am lacking going into any job is going to be provided to me as I begin. This is the promise of having a relationship (ongoing and ever-growing) with that Power that is so much greater than I ever could have hoped! You guys all promised it would happen. And it ALWAYS DOES! I love that!
So, I keep flexing my courage muscle at the silly voice in my head that tells me I can’t do it this time, I don’t want to do it this time, and I don’t think I will like to do it this time.
We don’t like to have courage, because it means we have to take some action. And most of us are convinced that all that needs to be adjusted for our highest good is the attitudes and behaviors of others. Hahahaha!
So, I jump to my feet and begin to do the footwork that will happen when the courage shows up that I need to go on. And there it is! Right on time. Never early, like the ego wants, but always right on time.
This stuff continues to amaze and surprise me. And I love it. Every time.
And that muscle gets stronger. But like any other muscles, I must continue to work or it gets more slack and useless than it was before I began to use it. Consistent practice keeps me strong and courageous!
Dolphin Hug 