COURAGE MONTH: DAY 1:
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” ― Paulo Coelho
Great change requires great courage. The courage that usually comes from the pain of resisting change. I seldom begin to want to change things that I am holding on to. And pretty soon, my life is so painful that I have to let go.
That change is not the kind we like. Since this is all about Step 8, we have to let go of the idea that we are not in the wrong. The idea that we do not owe others amends is a killer! We are full of arrogance and fear when we get here.
The ego is telling us that we are justified in doing the things we had done. That story can go on for a long time. However, recovery DEMANDS that we have the courage to change. And what really must change is the story.
We have to find the courage to see the story from another perspective. That means we MUST change our viewpoint and perception of the story. That is going to happen for us in Steps 4-7. So, now we have to gather the courage to clean up OUR messes.
All we do here is gather information and willingness. Willingness takes a tremendous amount of courage. Only fear blocks willingness. Some insane thinking (ego…Screaming Purple Monkeys!) tells us that we are going to be harmed when we admit our wrongs to another person. Like they don’t know what we did. Funny, but most of the time, others were NOT loaded or drunk and quite familiar with the part we had played in the damage. Oh!
No matter. Whatever the other person did or how they were or what we believed at the time, it is OUR recovery on the line here. We must be thorough and courageous and move on.
I swear this quote was written for Step 8. “There is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready.” Ugh!
So, if this is a sticking point for you, move on! Get it past you! It is the pivotal point of freedom from addiction. This is where the rubber meets the road. I love Step 8. It was the first time I felt like I REALLY committed myself to this thing, this new way of life. There is no turning back from this one.
I cannot do it half-assed either. This is the one where I have to be bold and daring and determined. So, I think courage gives us commitment and momentum. Take it in your hand and do it! (Remember my “Just Do It” motto!)
And if you come to one or two that you are unsure about, put them down! I know that many, many folks relapse around NOT making a thorough list and subsequent amends. I have never known anyone who made amends to the wrong person and relapsed. When in doubt, put them down.
This is a step that REALLY must be worked with strong sponsorship. Knowing to whom and how and when to make amends is crucial. That part of this step is going to be too much to do alone. Work with someone who gets it. You are truly building the gateway to freedom for the rest of your life with this thing. Grab some courage and get to work!
Dolphin Hug 