July 30

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 30: “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” ― Arnold H. Glasgow

This kind of patience works best in relationships. We get very impatient with children, who don’t always have the same sense of time that we do.

While we are busy driving to a destination with them, they are dying of boredom. They do not have the understanding yet of what it is to “wait.” They believe that the idea of a destination is all it takes to get there.

They also do not understand the concept of “later.” This takes some understanding and work to get to. It is this childish misunderstanding that adults display when they are throwing a temper tantrum around not getting their way or getting things NOW.

Most of us have learned about waiting and later. Addicts have to come to this understanding through time and, (uhoh!), patience.

We are terribly immature folks. A friend of mine calls recovery meetings “Romper Room” with wrinkles. We may look like adults, but our ability to act like them is often impaired. We get to grow up in recovery.

This is so far from just ‘not drinking or using drugs’ that it is sad that so many believe that is the goal. It is about taking responsibility for our lives, our behavior and attitudes. It is learning that we are wrong in our assumptions and viewpoints many times, due to our singularly impactful sense of entitlement and grandiosity.

We are self-centered and want everything to be in our terms, on our time schedule, and life just refuses to participate in that drama.

So, life is not the problem. Our thinking is. And our false sense of identity and the story we tell ourselves and the world about it all. Step 7 helps us find those places where we are wrong and correct them. We get to see how broken our perceptions of things are and switch them around.

Oh! The world around us is ready for us to step in and be adults. That is our function and purpose here. It isn’t to be some grandiose, center of attention; but to be another adult, doing what adults do, losing the story about it, and getting along with life.

In the process, we will be allowed to enjoy the miraculous healing of our crazy thinking. We WILL be restored to sanity, but it WILL take active participation in all 12 steps. Not just talking about them, but actually doing some work and applying principles to areas of our lives that are still a mess.

If you find an area where you are throwing temper tantrums like a two-year old, it is a character defect. Not sure which one? That is what sponsors are for, of course! Make them earn their living!