July 27

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 27: “Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle.” ― Lao Tzu

My brain is muddy because my ego (Screaming Purple Monkey) is constantly stirring up the story; any story.

That creates mud and confusion and drama about whatever is going in inside the brain. It seldom even relates to what is going on in the world around me.

So, when I reason something out, using only my brain, I will often be in conflict with myself. Life is almost all experiential. There is little need for me to grasp understanding at any level. But, ego loves to have cubbyholes and niches for information, and is constantly analyzing and sorting and sifting and working overtime to “figure it all out”.

Meanwhile, life is beckoning us to just go out and live! Just go out and be alive. Not sit and contemplate our navels. We need to do some things with the process of recovery. It is footwork.

It is not about coming to grips with data. We are not computers. Therefore, the more we sit and “think” about our life, the more distant we become from the actual living of it. Pretty soon we are either way back in the past or off in some distant future. Neither of these places has anything to do with life, just our interpretation of it.

So, we need to let go and move on. Any insight or wisdom that we need to have will come long after the things have happened that we are trying to make sense of.

That is why the very first step we MUST work here is Acceptance. Simple, elegant, life sustaining Acceptance. It is the only thing we MUST get in order to do life. Not figuring it all out. Not knowing all the answers…shit! We seldom ever even know the right questions!

So, we just jump into the lake of life and start swimming. And, as we move through the water and Experience life, we are given insight and wisdom; in meditation, in quiet times that have nothing to do with what we are thinking about, and when we can quiet the monkey.

I love this process. And I love the fact that there are (literally!) tons of materials supporting the spiritual path we are on. I do not find quotes that tell me to THINK more and be happy. I do not find evidence that DOING more will make my life work.

I find great evidence to the contrary. I do what is needed and in front of me. When I need to do more, it will be right there. I take direction so I am not the only one with a plan. And I clean up my messes as I go. There is little I need (or want) from within my mind. Less every day. I see the sun outside, and I join life as it unfolds. I do what I say I am going to do, serve others, take care of my side of the street, and another day is lived successfully.

How do I know? I am happy and smiling and having the best time I ever had. That is all. That is everything!