June 25

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 25: “Life is a long lesson in humility.” ― J.M. Barrie

Just when we think we “got this”, it all falls apart. I have had my shit together so many times in this life, or believed I did, only to watch it fall apart in a matter of seconds.

We look for things to cling to, for that imagined sense of safety and security. There is no such thing. We want to believe there is, but it is always an illusion.

Jobs, relationships, homes, cars, seatbelts, savings accounts…whatever we believe is going to keep us safe or afloat or from harm is useless and pointless. We may be able to minimize the impact of the tornado that is coming, but we cannot control it completely.

Life is life. It is a humbling experience. Those of us with addiction cannot bank our recovery. We must get what we need, one day at a time. If we develop good recovery habits in those first months and years, we will have a sense of security when the tornados and hurricanes of life hit.

But we will still lose whatever structures we have built on that foundation. That is the humbling part of this thing. No matter what we have in this world, no matter how much insurance we believe we have paid premiums on, we are going to lose sometimes and we are going to win sometimes.

However, even wins and losses are an illusion. It is like those jokes of “good news, bad news”. What we believe is going well can turn around and bite us in the ass in a nano-second. Oh…not so good. But, also, not so bad; especially if we are left right-sized when it passes over.

Believing we even know what is good or bad is another dangerous illusion. The most terrifying and seemingly horrible things life throws at us are the most important lessons, most of the time. In my experience, those people who I wanted to avoid at all possible costs have carried the most powerful messages.

The things that I clung to as the worst traumas have provided the greatest lessons for me. They have been my greatest teachers and informed me of who and what I am in greater ways than the days of walking on the beach in the sunshine (although I would not trade either of them for the world!)

The Universe designs our lives with a purpose and intention we will not know until we are done with it. We may have glimpses and moments of knowing, but the big picture, I believe, comes much later. After we pass from this mortal coil.

I do believe that the ups and downs, highs and lows, whatever we call our processes; are the source of the humility we will receive, over and over again. And that is perfect and beautiful and exactly the way it should be.

The most humbling thing I have learned about life is that, when I get out of the way and let it unfold in its own way and in its own time, it becomes exactly what I would have created myself, if only I had known how. That is awesome! But it ain’t ME!