June 24

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 24: “As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.” ― C.S. Lewis

Because pride is one of the 7 Deadly Sins (PAGGLES); it causes us to live within the confines of our character defects. I see character defects as a sort of prison, from which I am freed when I live more fully into humility and all the other spiritual principles.

I am not always the subtlest person, I am far too energetic for that. But I want to walk in perfect humility at all times. I am humbled by the enormity of the love I feel for others, that keeps growing every day. I am humbled by the exchanges I have with other people, because I get to sit with open heart and really listen and hear them.

I love this quote, because I believe I know God through these people whose eyes I look into. I don’t need to look up, since that is not really where I find what I consider to be the Power of this Universe. And I am not high enough up to look down on anyone.

But I understand the meaning of this quote and grasp the implications of being prideful. I see that the 7 Deadly Sins are nothing more than the masks I wear when I am afraid. If they are, as the 12×12 suggests, a good outline of most of my character defects; then I am afraid when I practice being prideful. I am also afraid when I am angry, greedy, practicing gluttony, lustful, envious, or slothful.

These are all driven by that familiar old symptom of self-centered fear. My greatest and most beautiful asset is not anything I have ever done or bought or anywhere I have ever been. It isn’t my car or my other possessions.

My greatest possession is my Recovery and my Health. These are total gifts that I work very hard to nurture and protect. I did nothing to get them, they were grace, all grace. My life is all grace. So, what can I possibly find to be proud of?

There are days when I am so afraid that I cannot stand to be me. When I ruminate on a problem I don’t know how to resolve (like it helps or something!), and I feel flattened by life. My Tigger is a bit slow to bounce back and express it’s joyful presence, but it is never down for long. I begin to write a gratitude letter and remember all the times I have felt down and things became resolved in short order. All good! So, I stay out of the problem and sit with the possibility that it will be resolved just like others have been in the past. Okay.

Now I am living with less fear. I feel Tigger revving up and pretty soon I am doing what is in front of me and letting the Universe resolve whatever I find is necessary to resolve. It works, not always what I am hoping for, but what is the best possible resolution for me and my life at this time.

There is, of course, a distinct difference between setting the problem aside and ignoring it. I do what is in front of me to resolve an issue and then wait to see how it unfolds. I used to ignore things, and that does not work, so I have learned (around here!) to do what I can and leave results in the hands of a Power GTM. The student is learning (finally!) from what I am told here. Yay!

Again, that cannot be done with any pride on my part, cuz it sure took a long time to sink in…smile.