June 22

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 22: “If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.” ― Epictetus

This quote always makes me laugh. There is not a single person on this planet who knows ALL of my character defects OR my character assets. No one.

So, if someone wants to broadcast my defects, I am happy to show them the ones they missed. But, I truly believe we are supposed to balance these with those assets spoken of at the beginning of Step 4; because I cannot live and operate in the world without shifting to that side of the ledger.

When defects of character are removed, the strength and focus is then on those assets I will need to employ to STAY out of old behaviors.

Because I love the process of Steps 4-9 so much, I have many times made lists of assets and liabilities. I am fairly conversant with my assets and my liabilities. This means I know, better than most, when I f–k up. Usually before the gossips and finger pointers.

I am happy to assist them with keeping the record straight, if they insist on assisting me with my inventory process.

As far as I am concerned, if they are watching me that closely, I am flattered and grateful. It also means that they are leaving someone else alone who may not be so flattered and grateful. However, I also am inclined to say the thing I love to say about them sharing their opinions with me.

I say it a lot. And that is: “I understand you have an opinion. Like the saying goes, they (opinions) are like assholes and everyone has one. My preference is that you keep both your opinions and your asshole to yourself; unless I ask.” This is my ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’ paradigm.

I don’t share my opinions with others without being asked. I prefer that everyone else do the same thing. I have a great circle of people whose opinions and ideas I really trust. They are the ones I will ask opinions of.

Everyone else, not so much. I am okay with saying that to anyone who insists on telling me what they think. If it sounds rude, consider how rude it is for someone to impose their opinions on you. It is, but somehow others believe they are entitled to do this. I think NOT!

So, there is little time wasted in my life dealing with the opinions of others. And I truly value every minute of my life. I refuse to waste it any longer on things that do not matter or on things that do not feed my spirit. Life is too short. Life is too good.

I am very, very greedy with both my life (which is all my minutes!) and recovery. I want all I can get and spend it all as wisely as I am capable of doing. As far as I am concerned, they are synonymous and I am enjoying them both as if they were millions of dollars!