June 16

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 16: “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

I am pretty sure that humanity brings us to this place. How? Aging…ugh! As we grow older, we may gain in wisdom and experience, but we certainly lose many of those fine faculties that we cultivated, revered and probably took pride in when younger.

I have been prideful of my intellect and my strong and pretty legs. Both are still there, but the intellect has proven to be faulty at times, and downright dangerous at others. The legs are still strong, but aging in front of my eyes. My stamina is less, and my energy too.

Our vital organs begin to slow down, and even digesting food can begin to be more troublesome than it once was. So, I can see how we are going to weaken and err as we pass through this mortal coil.

I always believed myself to be impervious to the effects of the bad habits I engaged in for most of my life. They have now shown themselves to have taken tolls on my health and other capabilities. Although my youth gave me freedom to fight off a lot of consequences, they now sit with me much of the time. I have learned to accept and embrace my new status as an “old lady.” This is quite different than the way I used that title when I was riding around on motorcycles with all the bad boys. Then it was an honor and (to me) a badge of distinction and belonging. I even wore my patch of “property of” with pride. Yikes!

Now I am a REAL “old lady” but you will never see me with a patch or living into that paradigm. Even though I crochet like someone’s granny, I refuse to accept that I cannot do things that are wonderful and exciting…like zip-lining, riding roller coasters or having wonderful adventures. My spirit is too free and alive.

But I have a zillion wrinkles and greater wisdom. Not a lot of gray hair, but it increases every year. The most wonderful gift of this kind of humility is that I get longer time in recovery every year. And that gives me the edge I used to have when I was young.

I would not trade a single moment of my life today for anything. Do I have regrets? Longings for things or times that were good? Some, small ones. I would love to dance with my husband like I did on my wedding day. It was completely untraditional and wonderful and the most romantic moment of my life. I miss his surprises. I would love to lay on the floor with my dog again, I miss him too. And I would love to hug my daughter again and let her cry into my shoulder with one of her teenage heartbreaks or dance at a 1980s concert again. We had fun too.

But I love who I have become and am aging into. My days are good and the moments are even better. I cannot believe that after so many years of practice, my yoga this morning felt better than anything I have done on the mat in a long time.

My breakfast was delicious, although I eat one of two things every day the same. And my gardens look so beautiful I want to cry. All of these are familiar, but my ability to be present in this moment is so much greater than ever before.
I am sure I do not take these things for granted. That would be to miss out on them completely. I am aware and present to all that I am doing in this moment. That makes writing this article like the first time I ever did it. And I even love that! How wonderful to be able to type really, really fast and write in a free-flow that opens my heart and quiets my brain…a true gift…and I am humbled again and again…Thank you Big Guy!